DEAR ABBY: I am grieving the death of my beloved mother. She was in her late 80s, and her friends who are still living were loyal in attending the visitation or the funeral, or sending a card.
However, my friends were absent and unresponsive, and it has left me feeling puzzled and deserted. I have always sent cards and responded to their family losses. Where were they in my time of need? Are they still my friends or not?
I must add that during the last year I went through a nasty divorce, and my former wife and her parents conducted a smear campaign against me. However, at the funeral, my former in-laws were in attendance. What do you think of this? -- DESERTED IN THE MIDWEST
DEAR DESERTED: It's possible that your former in-laws showed up simply to pay their respects to someone they had known -- and presumably gotten along with -- for a long time. As to the friends upon whom you counted for support, and who were absent in your time of need, you are asking the wrong person. You should ask them why they ignored your mother's death, and if they consider themselves still to be your friends. It's not a rude question. You're entitled to an answer, and hearing the truth might be empowering.