DEAR ABBY: A close friend of mine -- my college roommate -- is being married in three months. Because we are close, he asked me to be one of his groomsmen.
The problem is, I do not approve of the woman he is marrying. She's controlling, talks down to him, and degrades him in front of family and friends. I think she is just plain cold-hearted. She is the same way with friends and family. He makes excuses for her behavior, so I know he sees it as well.
Should I still stand up in his wedding, even though I don't think they should be married? If I don't, it is sure to put extreme stress on our friendship. I have tried to talk to him, but he doesn't seem to hear me. Help! -- RED FLAGS IN OHIO
DEAR RED FLAGS: It takes character to take a stand and do what is right. Being a member of the wedding party implies that you endorse the marriage. Because you cannot do that, you need to level with your friend, and explain that because you care so much for him and his future, you cannot be in his wedding. Do it soon, so you can be replaced without a hassle.