DEAR ABBY: My father-in-law in another state insists on sending inappropriate gifts to our daughters. For example, he sent our oldest daughter an expensive doll on her first birthday. The doll was designed for children ages 3 and up. We thanked him for the gift and stored it away for later use, since we were unable to return it without incurring significant shipping charges.
For Christmas, my father-in-law sent our 10-day-old baby a similar gift from the same store. I hate to see him continue this pattern and waste money on dolls that a newborn won't be able to enjoy for three years. I feel my husband should speak to his father about choosing age-appropriate gifts. However, I don't want him to think my husband and I are ungrateful, so we are hesitant to mention the issue to him. Please advise what, if anything, we should do about these gifts. -- NOT UNGRATEFUL IN TAMPA
DEAR NOT UNGRATEFUL: Use the personal approach. Call your father-in-law and thank him for his thoughtfulness and generosity. Then explain that the beautiful dolls he has been sending cannot be given to your daughters yet. Tell him that not only could the children hurt the dolls, the dolls could come apart and hurt the children. Your father-in-law may be clueless that very young children need special cuddly toys that can't hurt or choke them if they should come apart. You'll be doing both him and your daughters a favor.