DEAR ABBY: My sister and I live in the same city. I occasionally baby-sit my niece when her regular baby sitter -- a neighbor -- can't, which means when my sister works after 5 o'clock or a family emergency comes up. I have always been happy to play with my niece and I have never charged for my time.
My problem is, my sister has increased her need for my services. When I inform her that I can't do it because of prior commitments, she lays a guilt trip on me about how badly she needs me and I'm the only person she trusts. She begs and bribes to get me to cave in -- then she'll say that she can get a friend to baby-sit "if she must."
I reached the breaking point when she assigned me to baby-sit so she could volunteer for a political campaign and take some evening college classes. I don't want to have to give up most of my spare time to baby-sit. How can I decrease my sister's dependence on me? -- FEELING USED IN DES MOINES
DEAR FEELING USED: Your sister has taken advantage of your generous nature. You can lessen her dependency by being less available and not knuckling under when she pressures you. Please understand that she will continue to take advantage only as long as you continue to allow it.