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by Abigail Van Buren

Father Baffled by Daughter's Attraction to Jobless Man

DEAR ABBY: Two of my friends are being married a distance away and are having their wedding reception here in Washington, D.C. I received an invitation a few days ago to attend the reception. I like both of them very much. They are upstanding, dedicated, outstanding individuals. They are also both guys.

I am torn. I believe that marriage is between one man and one woman. Part of me wants to attend because I am friends with them, and if I went I would be polite, charming and come bearing a gift. However, another part of me does not want to attend because I don't believe in what they are doing. What should I do? If I don't attend, am I still responsible for a gift? -- CONFUSED ABOUT ETIQUETTE

DEAR CONFUSED: I am sure that if your friends knew that you disapprove of their marriage, they would find your presence at their reception an act of hypocrisy. So send your regrets for being unable to attend. And because you will not be a part of the festivities, you are under no obligation to send a gift.