DEAR ABBY: My husband and I were married in a small, intimate ceremony and reception in 2004. We were living in a condominium complex and had become close friends with one of our neighbors and her boyfriend, so we invited them to our wedding. Afterward, I opened their card. It read: "We are happy to share your day with you, but we are strapped for money right now and can't afford a gift at this time. As soon as we're back on our feet, we'll make sure you get your wedding gift."
We are now invited to their wedding. We never did receive a gift from them, nor has it ever been mentioned. These neighbors have a history of being "cheap," so it's not the first time.
My husband and I are at odds. I think we should attend the wedding and buy them a nice gift. He says we should just give them a card with no gift. Or should we simply not attend at all? I know that wedding gifts are just that -- gifts. But I'd feel strange not giving them anything. I would also feel strange giving them anything under the circumstances. How should we handle this? -- MIFFED IN MONTANA
DEAR MIFFED: The rule of etiquette is: When someone attends a wedding, a gift is in order. Your former neighbors broke that rule, and it has affected the relationship. Please don't stoop to retaliation. The real question is whether you plan to attend or send your regrets -- and only you can answer that.