DEAR ABBY: I am planning a small, intimate wedding this summer. Most of our guests will be family and very close friends.
My mother asked me to invite a longtime friend and co-worker. We sent the woman a save-the-date card. When Mother saw her the next day at work, the friend said she would be happy to attend -- if she didn't have a "band gig." Mother felt embarrassed and slighted. She would now like to start working from home to avoid this person and has asked me not to send an invitation. What should I do? -- SOON-TO-BE BRIDE IN VIRGINIA
DEAR SOON-TO-BE-BRIDE: Since the co-worker has indicated that if a job comes up she might be absent, take the hint and don't send the invitation. Better that she was honest in advance about the fact she might be able to attend, rather than being a no-show.
P.S. Although your mother is disappointed, she should not let her co-worker's reaction spoil a warm workplace relationship. Avoiding the woman is not the answer. Forgiving her and moving on is.