DEAR ABBY: My niece and nephew were living with their father, "Ron," and their stepmom, "Anita."
Ron walked out on Anita, and she turned and told the children -- ages 11 and 12 -- that it was their fault that their daddy left. They have since moved back with their mother, but they continue to cry and worry because of what Stepmommy Dearest said. (She had also hit my niece with her fist and lied about it when confronted.)
How can I help the children to adjust and understand? They are precious young people who badly need stability in their lives. -- DOTING AUNT IN ALABAMA
DEAR DOTING AUNT: What your niece and nephew need in their lives, even more than words, is continuity. Assure them that you will be there for them as long as they need you. Praise them for their good qualities. Explain that regardless of what may be said in the heat of anger, adults rarely end their marriages because of anything a child may have done.
Have their father repeat what you have said. From your description of the stepmother, everyone will be better off with her out of the picture.