DEAR ABBY: "Frank" and I have been married for three years, but we have known each other since 1994. When we first met, we both drank and partied a lot, but neither of us has had a drink in about seven years.
Three years ago, Frank started gambling. We used to do it for entertainment, but now he takes off for hours and won't answer his phone when he's at the casino. He has won thousands of dollars and lost more.
I have threatened Frank with divorce. I have told him to get out (but he won't leave), threatened to leave him (but I never have), and I have wept, begged, and even tried to ignore it.
I stay because I love him and want to help him with his problem, but I don't want to wind up living in a tent. Please help. -- LOSING BIG IN TUCSON
DEAR LOSING BIG: Your concerns are legitimate. It's no coincidence that your husband got hooked on gambling after he stopped drinking. It appears he traded one addiction for another.
A group that might help you is Gam-Anon Family Groups, a 12-step fellowship for husbands, wives, relatives and friends of compulsive gamblers -- people whose lives have been affected by their loved ones' problem. The phone number is 718-352-1671 and the Web site is www.gam-anon.org.