To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Keepers Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)
DEAR READERS: I'm still receiving fascinating letters in support of the 13-year-old girl who was ridiculed by her teacher and classmates for revealing that she'd one day like to be president of the United States. Read on:
DEAR ABBY: I read the letter from "I Have a Dream" and would like to offer her encouragement:
DEAR "I HAVE A DREAM": I was touched by your letter to Dear Abby, and I want you to know that you can become the president of the United States because of who you are, not in spite of it. I have no doubt a woman will be president one day, and America would be lucky to have you leading us every step of the way.
When young people like you express such a desire to make a difference in people's lives, you should be applauded. Your teacher and your classmates were wrong to laugh at your dream.
What you already know, but they seem to have forgotten, is that we live in a country where every child, girl or boy, has an equal chance to grow up and become president, or a teacher, or a doctor, or a CEO, or the shopkeeper down the street. That is what makes our country unlike any place on Earth. Anything is possible.
But to do the things we believe in, we all have to work hard, do our best, and fight those who do not always believe in us. It is not easy to ignore their criticism, and it is tough to look beyond their doubts. But remember, doubters never made America a better place. It is people like you -- people who dream big and are filled with hope -- who make a difference in this world.
Always remember that the great thing about America is that you can become president, and you should never let anyone tell you different. -- SEN. JOHN KERRY, WASHINGTON, D.C.
DEAR SEN. KERRY: To say that you are a busy man these days is an understatement. That you would still reach out to help a child says volumes about you as a person.
DEAR ABBY: As the first woman elected Illinois state treasurer, the first woman re-elected to a statewide office in Illinois and the first woman to lead a major party in Illinois, I was appalled by the negative response the 13-year-old girl ("I Have a Dream") received from her teacher, her guidance counselors and fellow students when she shared her dream of becoming president of the United States. As a woman who has fought hard to succeed in politics and government, I truly believe that service to your nation is a most rewarding career.
It is true a woman in politics does have disparities to overcome. For years, women fought for the right to vote, and today we continue to fight for equality in many careers.
Women in government can bring creativity, vision and commitment to the table. We come with a different mind-set than our male counterparts, which makes for better debate and legislation. Both parties need more recruitment of qualified females. Schools need to encourage young women to become interested in public service through career days and mentor programs.
I know that the first woman president is alive. Somewhere out there, a young girl is sitting in her classroom interested in becoming our nation's first female commander in chief, and I wouldn't be surprised if it's her. Best of luck to you, Mrs. President! -- JUDY BAAR TOPINKA, ILLINOIS STATE TREASURER
Daughter Can't Bear the Weight When Mom Unloads Her Burden
DEAR ABBY: My mother calls me every day to complain about my sister, with whom she has always fought. She goes on and on about her financial problems and lashes out at me when she's upset with other people.
I am only 20. I'm a full-time college student, have a full-time job, and I am deeply involved in a relationship.
I am trying to understand my mother's problems, but lately every time I hang up the phone after talking with her, I cry.
I am young and trying to learn how to handle my own problems. I don't think I can handle hers, too. I have tried explaining to her how I feel, but she refuses to listen.
My sister says I should hang up on Mother when she calls to complain, but I don't want to do that.
I've asked Mom to talk to Dad about her problems. They have been married 30 years. She says she doesn't want to stress him out. She doesn't realize the stress she puts on me.
I know my problem is small compared to most people, but in a few more years I'll be facing the harsh realities of life: mortgage, kids and bills. How can I ask Mom not to call me with her many complaints? -- STRESSED OUT BY MOM
DEAR STRESSED OUT: Your mother is using you like the valve on a pressure cooker. When her frustrations build up, she calls you to vent. I agree it would be better if she talked to your father about her problems, but you appear to be her dumping ground of choice.
Since you can't change her, you're going to have to change the way you react to her. Tell your father that you've reached your limit and it's time for him to intercede -- or tune her out when she starts dumping.
DEAR ABBY: My husband, "Mark," and I had dinner at our friends "Brian" and "Stephanie's" a few weeks ago. Several other couples joined us. Stephanie served the most delicious meal and everyone begged her for the recipes. She said every single one had come from your cookbooklet set. Stephanie said she'd had it for ages and wasn't sure if the ordering information was correct. Would you please tell me how I can get a set, because she also said the recipes were easy to follow and simple to make. I own a lot of cookbooks, Abby, but I can never get enough like that. -- LESLIE IN LOS ANGELES
DEAR LESLIE: I'm pleased your friends' party was a success. Over the years, many of those recipes were family favorites of ours. To order the set, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $10 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)
The booklets are full of delectable recipes from appetizers through desserts. All the ingredients are simple, and the directions are a cinch to follow. Bon appetit!
DEAR ABBY: I just finished reading one of your columns on why a woman could be president. Then, at the bottom, a woman signed "On the Spot in Tucson" asked what she should say when people ask her why she isn't married yet. You advised her, "Just tell the truth -- 'the right person hasn't asked me.'"
Why should she act like SHE can't ask a man to marry HER? Surely, if women can be president, women can ask men to marry them. Her answer should be, "I haven't met a man (or woman) I want to marry!" -- JOAN JACOBUS, MEMBER OF N.O.W.
DEAR JOAN: Not only can women ask men to marry them, but many do. However, the woman who wrote that letter asked because the question made her feel defensive, and your response might make a man feel like he wasn't worth considering. Read on:
DEAR ABBY: I was 44 before I married, and my wonderful husband was well worth the wait. When I was asked why I wasn't married, I used to say, "Just lucky, I guess." Sometime during my single years, I finally realized that if one isn't happy being single, he or she will not be happy being married either. That attitude prepared me for a husband, delightful adult stepchildren and beautiful grandchildren. -- CONTENT PAST, PRESENT AND FUTURE
DEAR CONTENT: I couldn't agree with you more. You're a wise lady.
DEAR ABBY: I had a great-aunt who lived to be 91 and never married. Her response to that question was, "Because I never met a man who deserved to be as happy as I could make him!" -- KATHRYN C. IN CINCINNATI
DEAR KATHRYN C.: I think I know why no one ever popped the question.
DEAR ABBY: I, too, was plagued by that annoying and rude question. I had the following posted on my desk at work for inspiration:
I'M NOT MARRIED BECAUSE:
(1) You haven't asked me yet.
(2) Because I just love hearing people ask me that question.
(3) My fiance is waiting until after the parole is granted.
(4) I'm still hoping for a shot at Miss/Mr. America.
(5) I already have enough laundry to do, thank you!
(6) I'm afraid my parents would drop dead from sheer happiness.
(7) What? And lose all the money I've invested in personal ads?
(8) I'm married to my career -- although recently we have been considering a trial separation.
(9) If I married, I'd have to forfeit my $10 million trust fund. -- USED TO BE THERE TOO, SEATTLE
DEAR USED TO BE THERE TOO: The common thread that runs through your responses is humor. And it's better to respond with humor to some questions than to become defensive. I'm sure it's not a question that is intended as a putdown. In fact, more often than not it is a roundabout way of saying, "I'm surprised a person as attractive as you hasn't been snatched up." And that's a compliment.
What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)