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by Abigail Van Buren

Woman's Future Seems Empty After Fiance's Sudden Death

DEAR ABBY: Maybe your gentle words will help me. The love of my life passed on six months ago, two weeks before our wedding. I feel like a walking zombie who can't remember how to smile. My darling died in front of me from a heart attack. He was staring directly into my eyes. He was only 39 -- I'm 36.

We were planning our future together. I'm so lonely without him. Now I feel as if God has taken his life AND mine. I want to join my darling because we promised each other we'd always be together. He promised he would never leave me. And since he was looking right into my eyes, I can feel his soul inside me. I feel nothing but missing him and his love -- our hugs, kisses, touches.

I've talked to my pastor; that was no help. It made me hurt even more.

My love and I were together almost five years. -- LOST WITHOUT HIS LOVE IN ST. PAUL

DEAR LOST: Please accept my deepest sympathy. Although you and your fiance promised each other you would always be together, his time on Earth was tragically short. I am sure that as he looked into your eyes he wanted you to go on -- to honor the love you had together, but live a full and meaningful life.

Yes, he will always be in your heart. No other relationship will be exactly the same. But if you allow yourself, you can and will have a relationship that is rewarding in other ways. Please have courage. Seek an outlet for your grief by joining a grief support group. Your doctor can refer you -- and so can your spiritual adviser.