DEAR ABBY: My live-in boyfriend of 12 years won't let me visit my never-married girlfriends on the East Coast. He says they're man-haters, which has some validity. But these are long-time friends who share intellectual interests he and I do not. How can I manage his feelings and have my freedom, too? -- MANAGING HIS FEELINGS
DEAR MANAGING: You're asking the wrong question. His feelings are his feelings. His insecurities are his insecurities. You can't fix him; only he can do that.
He is only your live-in -- not your husband and not your warden. The question you should be asking yourself is why you are allowing him to dictate who you can and cannot visit.