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by Abigail Van Buren

Roller Coaster Romance Is Making Boyfriend Queasy

DEAR ABBY: I have been with my husband, "Ron," for 12 years. We have always gotten along well except for one thing. He smokes pot -- a lot of it. He says he will never stop. I am against pot smoking, but I've tolerated it for his sake.

My daughter, "Erica," just turned 15 and has become involved with a bad crowd. I recently found out she has been smoking pot with Ron. Ron says he'd rather Erica do it at home instead of on the streets.

Now, if Ron and I have even the smallest disagreement, Erica will automatically take his side. The two of them have their own bond and inside jokes; I feel like an outsider. I would take Erica and leave my husband, but I'm not financially able.

How can I make Ron realize it is unacceptable -- that he should be a role model instead of a friend? I really feel like I am going crazy. Any ideas? -- UNCOOL MOM

DEAR UNCOOL MOM: Rather than behave like a responsible parent, your husband has become your daughter's enabler. I urge you to draw the line. Tell him that you want the house to be "clean" by tomorrow. If it's not, let him know you'll be calling the police to report him for supplying drugs to a minor. Then do it. Let him explain his off-the-wall philosophy to them. And for your daughter's sake, recognize that it's time you started job-hunting. You may need to support the two of you in the near future.