DEAR ABBY: Last February, my husband suffered an anoxic brain injury -- lack of oxygen to the brain. Needless to say, he is no longer the man he was.
Our friends have all disappeared. They tell me it's hard for them to see him like this. How do they think I feel?
Am I wrong to feel hurt? I don't understand why they can't even call. Talking has always been an outlet for me, but no one ever calls me anymore. No one knows how someone else feels until they've been there, but what happened to, "I'll be there for you," or "Call if you need me"? I wouldn't ask them for anything but conversation.
Is it normal for people to avoid friends when they are in trouble or pain? -- FRIENDLESS IN GEORGIA
DEAR FRIENDLESS: It's human, it's common -- but it's cowardly. You have my sympathy, but it's time you stopped waiting for calls that never come and do something on your own behalf. Rather than dwelling on how these supposed "friends" have let you down, your time would be better spent with a caregiver support group. You'll find you have much in common. Locate one by calling the National Family Caregivers Association, toll-free, at (800) 896-3650, or visiting the Web site at www.nfcacares.org. There is also an organization called Faith in Action that offers respite care to caregivers like yourself. The toll-free number is (877) 324-8411. Adult day care for your husband could give you some much-needed time to rest and rejuvenate. Please consider it.