Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
Wary Consumer Warns Others to Beware of Internet Scams
DEAR ABBY: I have been hit on by scam artists more than once. They must think I have "sucker" tattooed on my forehead.
The latest has been a series of e-mails telling me that a Mrs. Virginia of the United Kingdom was killed in a car accident, and I am the sole beneficiary of her $12.5 million estate. All I have to do is provide them with my bank account number, and the money will be transferred from the Habib Trust Bank of England.
Well, I'm not stupid. I gave them the account number of a bank I no longer do business with. There is a grand total of $2.83 in that account. They are welcome to it –- have a cup of coffee and a scone on me.
Their scam promises they'll do all the paperwork –- but after a while they'll tell you that you either have to send an advance of several thousand dollars to "complete the transaction," or go to Nigeria to sign the papers. This going to Nigeria gets better: They'll tell you that you don't need a visa to go there, as they will "take care of all that." But as soon as you land in Nigeria, you'll be arrested for NOT having a visa.
So, Abby, please warn your readers if they receive any type of e-mail, or regular mail, or even a phone call to that effect, they should explain it all to the Secret Service like I did. No one should fall for this trap. I'll get $12.5 million when I am next in line to become the pope. I've got a better chance of coming into money by playing the lottery. -- EUGENE B., CLIFTON, N.J.
DEAR EUGENE: I assume from your letter that you're not waiting for a visit from the College of Cardinals. I'm sure my readers will be grateful for the warning, as well as the reminder that most things that seem too good to be true –- usually aren't.
DEAR ABBY: I'm the mother of two sons who are as different as night and day. My 27-year-old, "Ken," has lots of issues and drama. Our relationship has always been rocky. Nothing I have ever done has been good enough.
Ken calls me on the phone and calls me names. I have gone through years of therapy and am doing pretty well, but when I have contact with him I regress 13 years.
We hadn't spoken since Christmas because I stopped answering the phone when he called. However, last night I did pick up. Our conversation started out well, but it peaked to a horrible yelling contest. Ken called me terrible names and blamed me for everything bad that has happened in his life.
I love Ken, but I don't like him. Is there a way a parent can cut the apron strings? What kind of impact would that have on him? I go to church and sit alone and pray. It gives me some relief. But when he calls, it starts all over again. What is a mother to do? -- GRIEVING IN TEXAS
DEAR GRIEVING: You say that you have had counseling. Has your son? If the answer is no, urge him to get some and get his life in order. Should he refuse, make it plain that you will no longer tolerate his verbal abuse and again screen your calls. The longer you allow your son to cause you pain, the longer he will do it. He's an adult, and you have suffered enough.
PETS' MIRACULOUS COMEBACKS LAUNCH MANY A FAMILY LEGEND
DEAR ABBY: Thank you for printing the letter about the reincarnated rabbit, "Blossom." It has been years since I had such a good laugh. I had heard the tale before and knew it was a joke. I'm glad you were not taken in.
It reminded me of a true incident that happened in our household many years ago. My brother, Jack, had two pet green anole lizards. One day I came home from school before he did and found my cat, Yoda, in the lizard tank. I was horrified to find only one lizard.
I begged my mom to lend me the car and off to the pet store I went. When Jack came home, he found two green lizards, and one with a half-chewed-off tail in the tank. (I guess it been hiding under the rock.) Jack was old enough to know how lizards have babies, so he was confused as to how the third lizard arrived. Caught in the act of replacement, I had to 'fess up. Jack was furious at Yoda, but happy to have an additional pet lizard.
We still laugh about the incident. -- KIM IN MASSACHUSETTS
DEAR KIM: I looked up the word "anole" and my Webster's dictionary defined it as "any of a genus of arboreal American lizards (as the American chameleon) that have ... the ability to change color." It reminded me of a story I heard years ago (probably apocryphal) about a woman whose pet chameleon died after she placed it on a piece of cloth that was plaid.
The letter about "Blossom" brought back memories from another reader, too. Read on:
DEAR ABBY: While the letter about Blossom was funny, I have a similar incident that is true. When I was 15, I adopted a cat from the S.P.C.A. I named him Elvis, and he instantly became part of the family. On Aug. 16, 2002 (the 25th anniversary of the death of the real king), my Elvis disappeared. He had missed his supper, which was unusual, so a friend and I went looking for him. We didn't find him, but after my friend left to go home, he called and said he had seen a cat up the street that looked like Elvis, dead in the road.
My dad and I took the truck, and sure enough, there lay a gray-and-white striped tabby cat. After three hours of mourning and crying in the driveway, we buried him with some of his favorite toys.
The next morning I woke up with my eyes still swollen from crying and looked out the back door. There lay Elvis sunning himself. After a moment of thoughts flashing through my head of Elvis unburying himself, I ran outside to make sure it was my cat. It was.
A few months later, while attending a neighborhood watch meeting, a neighbor mentioned that her cat had gone missing. He, too, was a gray striped tabby -- identical to my Elvis.
I think sometimes God lets us know how it would feel to be without something we love without actually taking it away, to teach us to be more grateful. -- THE KING LIVES ON, MIDLAND, TEXAS
DEAR K.L.O.: Perhaps. Thank you for the timely reminder that we should count our blessings.
CONFIDENTIAL TO KANSAS CITY KITTY: Dry your tears and count your blessings. Better to have loved and lost than to have spent your entire life hitched to a tomcat who's always on the prowl.
For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
Army Wife Struggles to Adjust to Husband's Return From Iraq
DEAR ABBY: My husband, "Rick," spent a year in Iraq. He has been home for 3 1/2 months. Before his return, the Army gave out a lot of information for us about what to expect upon his arrival -- how he might act, how the kids might react. None of it seems to have helped me.
Rick has had no trouble adjusting to being home. He has experienced no serious side effects from being there. The problem is me.
While Rick was gone, I did everything. I took care of our little boy, ran the house -- handled everything. Now that Rick is home, I'm having a hard time relearning how to share MY child and MY house with him. Yes, Abby, I know it's his baby and his house, too.
Rick's deployment was the first time I had ever lived by myself -- and I liked it. Now it seems that everything he does is wrong. Things that never used to bother me set me off now. I have gone from being a laid-back, patient person to a ranting, raving she-devil. Rick loads the dishwasher wrong and puts the toilet paper in backward; he drives wrong. Everything he does is wrong, because he does it differently than I do.
What's wrong with me? I know I'm acting like a lunatic. I love my husband very much and don't want to act this way. I want our marriage to be successful and happy. What can I do? -- ARMY WIFE IN NORTH CAROLINA
DEAR ARMY WIFE: There is nothing "wrong" with you. You are not the only wife who has felt this way. What the Army failed to tell you is that there's a period of readjustment not only for the returning soldier, but also for the spouse who was left behind. The solution lies in communicating your feelings before you explode.
The two of you must learn how to communicate effectively again. The secret is compromise. Taking time for just the two of you to be together would also be a giant step in the right direction. Both of you have changed during his deployment. If that doesn't improve the situation, marriage counseling should be your next step.
Keep in mind that you are among the lucky ones. Not everyone has been so fortunate as to have their loved ones return home.
DEAR ABBY: About a year ago, a friend of mine passed away. His funeral was more than 1,000 miles away. Because I didn't have much money, another friend called her best friend from high school and asked him to let me stay with him while I attended the funeral.
As a thank-you for his hospitality, I insisted on cooking for him my last night there. (He survived on frozen pizza!) We ate together, and at the end of the meal, he begged me not to leave yet. He had fallen in love with me, and I with him in the short time there! I changed my travel plans, and now a year later, we're engaged.
When people see that we're engaged, we always get asked, "How did you meet?" I tell them it was through a friend, but some people insist on hearing the whole story. Should we make something up? I can't tell people that I met him because of my friend's funeral! -- J.H. IN YONKERS
DEAR J.H.: Why not? It's a wonderful story. Out of sadness came joy; out of death came life. I consider your love story to be an affirmation -- and so should you.
For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)