DEAR ABBY: I met my biological father last June, after waiting 15 years to do so. His side of the family was very warm and welcoming. They treated me as though they had known me all my life. I was nervous about meeting them, so I took my boyfriend. They treated him like family too.
I have not told my mom that I went to see the other family, because she would no longer speak to me, and I don't want her mad at me. My parents had an extremely bitter divorce. Mom still holds a grudge, and she expects me to as well.
I am being married soon, and now I am being forced to choose between my mom and my biological father. I would like everyone to be there, and for my stepdad to walk me down the aisle. My fiance likes my biological father and his side of the family and wants them all to be there, too. I am stuck in the middle. What should I do? -- IN THE MIDDLE OUT WEST
DEAR IN THE MIDDLE: It's time to grow up and tell your mother what you did. Although the divorce was devastating, you have the right to know your father and paternal relatives if you wish. Ask her, as her wedding gift to you, to bury her enmity for one day so you can have the wedding of your dreams. Many other families have done this, and the experience can be healing.