DEAR ABBY: I have a 14-year-old son, "Adam," whose paternal grandmother, "Bryna," is making life difficult for him. He has acne, for which he's seeing a dermatologist. He also needs braces, and I'm working on that as well.
When Adam goes to visit Grandma Bryna, he gets put-down after put-down. She "comments" about his acne and also his teeth.
I am no longer married to her son (he's deceased), and while we were married, we all got pretty much the same treatment. I don't want to sever ties with Bryna, as Adam still wants that connection with his dad. My daughter, who is older, refuses to have anything more to do with her.
When Bryna says these things to my son, she instructs him not to say anything about it to me. I don't want her to accuse him of ratting her out. I am ready to tell her not to contact us again. Should I take such a drastic step and cut off all ties with her? -- FRUSTRATED IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR FRUSTRATED: Why not? The woman is spreading poison. If you had poison oak in your garden, wouldn't you remove it?