DEAR ABBY: My ex-wife, "Misty," is now dating my father (who is still married to my mom, but separated). Mom blames me. She says it's all my fault because I brought Misty into the family. We have two kids. What can I do to get past all the hurt and pain? I'm depressed all the time, and it has reached the point that it is affecting my work and everyone around me. Please help. -- DESTROYED IN KENTUCKY
DEAR DESTROYED: Two selfish people decided their passions could not be denied, and innocent bystanders -- in this case you and your mother -- have been devastated. Your father's misbehavior and your wife's was not your fault. Your mother blames you because she is unable to project her anger where it really belongs, which is on your father.
Both you and your mom could use counseling to work through this soap opera. Please take my advice and waste no time in seeking a referral -- perhaps to a therapist with two couches, since you and your mother are suffering from the same problem.