DEAR ABBY: I am a 37-year-old married woman. One night I walked into our bedroom and caught my husband looking at something. When he saw me, he stuck it between the pages of a magazine and began shuffling business papers. The next morning when he went to work, I opened the magazine and found a snapshot of a naked woman.
A few nights later he said he was going to hang out with some friends, so I decided to take myself out to dinner. When I walked into the restaurant, I saw my husband having dinner with the woman in the photo.
He didn't see me, so I left quickly. I didn't mention having seen him. Now I have noticed that he no longer really talks or listens to me, and he's making lame excuses to go out more often.
I want to save our marriage. But how? -- UPSET IN LONGMEADOW, MASS.
DEAR UPSET: You will not save your marriage by remaining silent. Confront your husband with the fact that you found the photo and have seen him with the woman. Tell him that you love him but you feel betrayed and hurt, and offer him the option of marriage counseling. Marriages can survive this trauma, but only if both parties are willing to work at rebuilding the trust that has been broken.