DEAR ABBY: I had to write after reading the letter from "No Name, City or State," the 17-year-old boy who was scared because when he tries to break up with his girlfriend, she cuts herself.
Several years ago, my teenage daughter had a slumber party. "Lynn," one of my daughter's friends, was one of the guests. During the night, Lynn began cutting herself and tried to attack another girl with a broken mirror. My daughter woke me, and I called the sheriff's department. They came and took Lynn to a hospital.
We didn't see her for two years, but six months ago Lynn dropped by our home. She hugged us and started to cry. She said, "Thank you so much for caring enough to DO something. I see now that I was crying for help." Lynn is still in therapy and under treatment for depression.
Abby, that young man should not hesitate to do whatever needs to be done to get his girlfriend the help she needs. -- A MOM IN THE ROCKY MOUNTAINS
DEAR MOM: The young man has already taken a giant step in the right direction. He has defined the problem and asked an adult (me) what to do about it.
Your experience clearly illustrates the benefit of taking immediate action and getting a person who is a threat to herself and others into the medical system.
DEAR ABBY: This morning my husband of five years, "Frank," called me by his ex-wife's name. It made me furious because it's something he's done from time to time. I'm still fuming and have managed to avoid him all day.
Don't get me wrong. I'm cordial to Wife No. 1. I make every effort to cooperate with her because of the children involved -- but being called by her name is like a slap in the face.
If I tell Frank, I know he'll say I'm overreacting. What do you think, Abby? -- WIFE NO. 2 IN TEXAS
DEAR WIFE NO. 2: Go to the stationery store and buy some "Hello, my name is ( )" stickers. Plaster one on your shoulder and one on your nightie. That should get his attention and your message across without being heavy-handed.
DEAR ABBY: I have been seeing a gentleman I'll call Clint for about a month. We are both divorced, in our early 40s and live 10 minutes apart. Clint has two children.
When Clint calls, I always make myself available -- even if it's 11 p.m. or later. He usually spends the night with me, then leaves first thing in the morning. My problem is he never wants to take me out anywhere, like to dinner and a movie. If he doesn't come to my house, I'll go to his -- and we always end up in bed.
Am I setting myself up for disappointment? Your thoughts, please. -- WANTING MORE IN BUFFALO
DEAR WANTING MORE: It depends on what you want from this relationship. You have described a bed partner, not a life partner. Tell Clint exactly how you feel about this arrangement. You'll know where this ship is heading by his reaction.
Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
4520 Main St., Kansas City, Mo. 64111; (816) 932-6600