DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend, "Jake," and I have been fighting a lot lately. He says I am controlling and possessive.
I am a 32-year-old divorced mother of two. Jake is 31, and we have been dating nearly two years. The problem is, Jake used to see his friends two or three times a month, but for the past two weeks he has been going out with these single, balding, wannabe frat boys six or seven nights. He justifies it by accusing me of being controlling, and saying he never gets to hang out with his buddies anymore.
I admit I do make comments about his friends, who think beer is a breakfast drink. When Jake is with them, he becomes one of them -- rude and crude. This concerns me because I have two young children, and Jake and I have talked about making a life together. I'm starting to wonder what kind of life that might be.
What do you think? -- POSSESSIVE? IN BUFFALO, N.Y.
DEAR POSSESSIVE?: Two weeks is not a long time, but you are asking intelligent questions. Birds of a feather usually flock together -- and from your description of Jake, he may not yet be ready to build a marriage nest with you or anyone. Be patient for a few weeks. Refrain from finger-pointing. If Jake continues in this vein, then it's time for you to have a truth session.