DEAR ABBY: I need some advice. My boyfriend and I have been together for two years. He was adopted by loving parents who gave him everything. But he has just found his birth mother, and they seem to want to catch up on lost time.
My problem is I can't seem to stop resenting that his mother came back into his life. I feel very left out, and as if my time has been usurped by another woman. Don't get me wrong. I am happy for him, but I no longer feel that I am his No. 1 priority.
I tried talking to my boyfriend about this, and he acts like he understands my feelings -- but he also says it seems I want him to choose.
How can I stop feeling this way? -- LEFT OUT IN LAREDO
DEAR LEFT OUT: First of all, understand that what is going on is not about you; it's all about him and his need to understand who he is and where he came from. Like any new relationship, it is distracting in the beginning, but will subside in time. So be patient. Realize that what a man feels for his mother is not what he feels for his girlfriend. Don't take this personally, and above all, do not allow yourself to be put into a "her or me" situation. If you do, you might win the battle, but you'll surely lose the war.