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by Abigail Van Buren

Man With Two Lovers Faces Double Trouble

DEAR ABBY: After a six-year relationship with my boyfriend, "Rudy," I have learned that he's been shacking-up with another woman. I am devastated.

I was sometimes suspicious about Rudy's living situation. He told me he was renting a room from his longtime friend, "Lorna," but I was never invited in. Rudy's explanation was that since it wasn't his home, he didn't feel comfortable having company.

You guessed it, Abby. Lorna, the "longtime friend," turned out to be my Rudy's lover. The way I found out was humiliating. Last Sunday, I dropped by to visit him because he had told me on the phone the night before that he had stomach flu. When I rang the doorbell, an older man opened the door and identified himself as Lorna's father.

When I asked if I could come in and see Rudy, the old man told me that Lorna and Rudy were away on a Caribbean cruise. My jaw dropped. When I introduced myself as Rudy's girlfriend, and my 15-month-old as Rudy's child, HIS jaw dropped.

How could the man I love, the father of our precious baby, have pulled off this double life? I'm hurt and angry, but I know I must pull myself together for my daughter. How will I control myself when that two-timer has the nerve to show his face at my door? Can you give me some advice? -- TWO-TIMED IN BOSTON

DEAR TWO-TIMED: Your boyfriend is an accomplished user. He has taken advantage of you and Lorna, too -- so please don't think you are alone in your situation. What you say to him when he shows up is up to you. Fortunately, you have some time to prepare your speech. I'm sure it will be a dilly.

Before you do, however, it is imperative that you consult a lawyer and establish child custody rights and a support payment schedule for the benefit of your little girl. Let's hope that Rudy is willing to be a more responsible father than he has been a boyfriend.