DEAR ABBY: I was raised in a small rural community. When I was 8 or 9 years old, I was molested and sodomized. I am now a 61-year-old single man, and I have never been able to have an intimate relationship with anyone.
I was not molested by a priest, preacher, teacher, coach or any adult. I was molested by another child -- a boy of 12 or 13. I knew of three boys in my seventh grade class who were also molested by another boy. By the time I was a senior in high school, I had learned of two more.
The boys who victimized us are now married and have children. At least three of their victims never married. I have no doubt that these abuses continue today. This is NOT an issue of homosexuality or pedophilia. The issue is the dominant, aggressive nature of male sexuality.
Parents must realize that their child is potentially both a victim and an abuser. All boys should be alerted to the possibility that even some of their best friends may have dangerous curiosities -- and no one has more influence over a child than a friend.
Boys must be taught self-respect and respect for the privacy of others. Because of the complexities of our society, we cannot leave the development and socialization of a child's sexuality to chance or to nature. -- ALONE IN ARIZONA
DEAR ALONE: Your letter is troubling as well as thought-provoking. All children should be taught how to say no -- whether verbally or through self-defense -- if they are asked to do something that doesn't feel right and is against their better judgment.
It is imperative that parents also teach children the importance of treating one another with respect. This is a valuable lesson that will benefit them for the rest of their lives.