DEAR ABBY: I am 25 and a registered nurse. For three years I've been in a live-in relationship with "Herb." He is 10 years my senior.
I have a history of depression, anxiety and binge drinking. I turned to alcohol when I got depressed over my father's death from a massive heart attack five years ago. I also drink because of lack of love and compassion from my mate.
Herb is unemployed and spends most of his time in front of the computer. If I have so much as a cocktail to wind down after a 12-hour shift, he withholds affection. I feel isolated. I'm afraid he will become angry if I stop for a drink with my colleagues after work.
Herb never asks me how my day was. I know I have problems, but it would be nice to feel supported. He has been physically abusive on multiple occasions. Is there any hope for me, Abby? -- DOWN IN THE DEPTHS IN COLORADO
DEAR DOWN IN THE DEPTHS: Yes, there is. But first you must accept that you have a drinking problem and seek other avenues for resolving your depression. Speak to your doctor and get a referral for treatment.
That said, your drinking is no excuse for Herb to abuse you. Your life will improve as soon as you rid yourself of him.