DEAR ABBY: I am a 32-year-old single female whose past has been filled with physical, emotional and sexual abuse that began when I was 5.
Even though my past was horrendous, I've always felt that my life would get better. Well, two marriages and several long-term relationships later, I am STILL being abused. It seems I attract only men who are physically abusive, emotionally unavailable -- or both.
Do you think there is something in my character that tells abusive men I am an easy target? I am so sad and lonely that I've found myself thinking more and more about killing myself. I know I have something to live for -- I just don't know what it is. -- LOST AND UNLOVED IN THE MIDWEST
DEAR LOST AND UNLOVED: If you have a plan to kill yourself, I urge you to pick up the phone, speak to the operator and ask to be connected to the suicide hotline. Please get the help you deserve so you can lead the happy, healthy life you want. That road begins with counseling to rid yourself of the baggage from your childhood. With professional help, you'll learn to break unhealthy and unhappy patterns and "reprogram" your expectations about what is normal and acceptable in relationships. Please don't wait.