DEAR ABBY: My son, "Roger," was recently divorced from his wife. His two sons, 10 and 12, are with him every weekend. Roger told me that after the boys stay at his home, things come up missing -- CDs, tapes, loose change, etc.
Roger finally said something to his ex-wife, but she told him to "deal with it."
Soon after that, the kids stayed at my home for a day, and sure enough, after they left, I also discovered items missing. Please tell us how this problem can be handled, Abby. I would like to show the boys' mother your response. -- MICHIGAN GRANDMOTHER
DEAR GRANDMOTHER: When couples separate, they still have a joint responsibility to the children they brought into this world. Topping the list of lessons that responsible parents should teach by example is how to be a good citizen and a person with character.
Big crimes usually start with petty ones. Your grandsons are crying out for attention in a negative way. Ideally, the mother and father should speak to their sons together, but if their mother chooses not to deal with the problem, then their father must do it alone. The boys must be confronted and the items returned. Your son should also consider spending more time with the boys, until they have adjusted to the new situation. If that fails, family counseling is in order.