DEAR ABBY: I am a 23-year-old mother of two boys, ages 4 and 2. I left their father because of spousal abuse, and I suspect he molested my oldest son, "Doug." Because I was never able to prove it, our mediator ignored it.
Now my son shows signs of damage. I see his pain and anger, and I don't know how to help him. Some of the things he does scare me, and I am afraid one day he will hurt himself or his little brother.
Doug talks as though his dreams are reality. One minute he will walk into my bedroom and say, "I love you, Mom." However, as he walks out the door, he growls in anger. He tells neighbors that I killed his dad. He has to have his blankets perfectly centered on his bed while he sleeps. He covers his brother's mouth so he can't scream. He says there are people in his room -- the list goes on and on. I don't know what's going on in his mind or how he feels inside. Sometimes Doug screams and cries for so long I get scared someone will think I'm beating him, because he makes sure everyone can hear him. I don't know what to do. Please help. -- AT MY WIT'S END IN CENTRAL CALIFORNIA
DEAR WIT'S END: Although some of what you have described may be considered "normal," the combination of behaviors has me concerned. Since you suspect Doug was abused, I urge you to contact his pediatrician and schedule a complete evaluation -- and, if necessary, a referral to a psychiatrist who specializes in children. The sooner the better.