DEAR ABBY: I have been going with "Jeremy" for five years. He's 28, I'm 25. We love each other dearly. We've talked seriously about getting married and having children. The problem is he's asked me twice to marry him --- only to take his proposals back.
The first time, we set a date and started making wedding plans. When Jeremy changed his mind, I asked if it had anything to do with me. He said no --- that he loves me and can't picture a life without me --- but he was scared.
Now when the subject of marriage comes up and we talk about a wedding and future together, Jeremy makes remarks like, "Yes, if we make it that long." Then he starts naming all the people we know who have gotten divorced. I blame Jeremy's mother for his attitude. She's been married and divorced five times. (Her most recent marriage lasted less than a year.)
I want to spend my life with Jeremy more than anything in the world, but his negative outlook on marriage worries me. I hate to say it, but I'm beginning to resent him for it. Should I break it off or stay? -- UNSURE IN INDIANA
DEAR UNSURE: Before this mating dance goes any further, you and Jeremy should get premarital counseling. It's an understatement to say that he has poor role modeling when it comes to marriage and what it entails. Counseling will give him the chance to express all his fears in a supportive setting. Without it, I see no future in this on-again, off-again romance.