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by Abigail Van Buren

Teenage Girl Overwhelmed by Too Many Discoveries

DEAR ABBY: I recently discovered I am a lesbian. Unfortunately, I am already pregnant with my boyfriend's baby. We were both drunk when this happened, and it was a horrible mistake. My parents nearly disowned me when they realized I was going to have a child. (We are devout Christians.)

I don't know how they'll react when I tell them I am a lesbian. Abby, I am afraid to tell them and don't know how. Please help me find a way. -- TEENAGE LESBIAN IN COLORADO

DEAR TEEN: Stop dwelling on yourself for a moment. Although the teen years are supposed to be a time of self-discovery, it's time you got off the fast track for a while. Your parents are shell-shocked enough as it is, and you have serious responsibilities ahead. After your baby arrives, my intuition tells me you'll be too busy for much of a sex life (homosexual or heterosexual).

Once your family has stabilized again, there is still time to come out to your family. Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (P-FLAG) can provide you with literature that will make it easier to talk to them. P-FLAG can also offer the emotional support they will need. The address is: 1726 M St. NW, Suite 400, Washington, D.C., 20036. The Web site is

DEAR ABBY: I have a serious anger problem. When my fiance and I first met, it was love at first sight. But after six months, everything he does seems to tick me off.

In the beginning, I didn't show him my ugly side. I didn't want to scare him off. Then he said he wanted me to be more open, so I let it all out. Now I'm letting it out every single day. I get mad when he does or says the same things I do or say to him, and I'll isolate myself or give him the silent treatment.

I think I have a serious mental and/or anger problem, but I don't know where it comes from. Everybody thinks I'm crazy. They say, "I don't know when you're happy or mad because you have the same expression."

Maybe they're right. Maybe I'm not happy because I haven't accomplished anything in my life. (I am only 22.) Please help me. -- LASHING OUT IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR LASHING OUT: You are only 22. It's too early to declare yourself a failure. However, it is difficult to be loving to others if you don't like yourself.

Before you and your fiance go any further, you must get to the root of what is really bothering you. A call to your local department of social services or mental health association will help you locate a counselor you can afford. A course in anger management would also be helpful for both of you. Please don't wait. You have a right to be happy.

DEAR ABBY: Please inform your readers that if their child is enlisting in the armed services or plans to go overseas, the parents should also get passports.

Our son left to serve in Iraq. He is now in Germany for medical reasons, and we cannot get to him.

Passports take six weeks to process. They can be expedited for a hefty fee, but they still take two weeks to arrive. -- LEARNED LATE IN WEST LAFAYETTE, OHIO

DEAR LEARNED: That's a helpful suggestion, and I'll pass it along.

P.S. Your son is in my prayers. Please let me know how he's doing.

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

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