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by Abigail Van Buren

Wife With Clinging Husband Needs Space to Stand Alone

DEAR ABBY: I met "David" eight months ago, and we were married after only a few months. He doesn't have many male friends, by choice. Although I love David, he is smothering me. David works next door and watches everything I do. If I go to the store, he has to go. If I play on the computer, he's right there beside me. It seems I can't do anything without him around. I'm not cheating and he knows it, but it seems he has to spend every waking moment by my side.

I don't want to be rude, because I love my husband. But I need some breathing space. He wonders why I am irritable with him so often. Please give me some advice about the smothering. -- CAN'T BREATHE IN COEUR D'ALENE, IDAHO

DEAR CAN'T BREATHE: Your marriage is in serious trouble. I don't know your husband; however, he appears to be super-controlling, hyper-needy and insecure. That he has no male friends is telling. For whatsoever reason, he is completely dependent upon you.

Tell David exactly how you feel. He needs counseling before he loses you -- and you both would benefit from counseling together to work on your communication skills.

DEAR ABBY: My 16-year-old daughter, "Olivia," is pregnant. My husband, "Bill," kicked her out of the house because the father is of another race. Abby, she has nowhere to live and is staying with whoever will take her in each night. She doesn't eat properly and she doesn't sleep well.

Olivia has always dreamed of going to college and becoming a private investigator. I am afraid if she doesn't come home, she may not be strong enough to make it through high school -- especially with a baby to take care of.

I am desperate to help my daughter, but Bill won't budge. Should I leave him and let the chips fall where they may? -- WORRIED ABOUT MY DAUGHTER IN FORT WORTH

DEAR WORRIED: Your daughter is in serious trouble. She needs you right now to survive. Tell your husband, the bigot, that Olivia is your responsibility legally and morally until she reaches adulthood. If he refuses to back off and accept it, HE should be the one to leave, not you and Olivia.

DEAR ABBY: A friend of mine was flying from Seattle to San Francisco. Her plane made an unscheduled stop in Sacramento. The flight attendant explained that if passengers wanted to get off the aircraft they could re-board in 30 minutes.

Everyone got off the plane except for one gentleman who was blind. His Seeing Eye dog lay quietly under the seats in front of him. The man must have been a regular on that flight, because the pilot approached him and said, "James, we're in Sacramento for almost an hour. Would you like to get off and stretch your legs?"

James replied, "No, thanks. But maybe my dog would like to stretch HIS legs."

People in the terminal were aghast and pointing when they saw the pilot -- wearing aviator sunglasses -- emerge from the plane being led by a Seeing Eye dog! -- STILL LAUGHING IN TAMPA

DEAR LAUGHING: For someone with a fear of flying, that may have been the last straw. However, with airline technology advancing at the rate it has in recent years, what they surmised may one day be reality.

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

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