For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
Flu Shots Are Good Protection and Won't Give You the Flu
DEAR ABBY: Each year in the United States, influenza kills 36,000 people and hospitalizes 110,000 more. Influenza's impact could be greatly reduced if your readers would put "schedule flu vaccination" on their to-do lists today.
The vaccine is extremely effective. Despite this, many people for whom flu vaccine is recommended fail to get immunized. Some presumptions that keep people from being vaccinated:
MYTH 1: The flu shot can give you the flu.
FACT: The influenza shot cannot give you the flu. The injectable vaccine is made from "killed" influenza virus.
MYTH 2: If you don't get the vaccine in October or November, it's too late.
FACT: Although it's best to be vaccinated in October or November for maximum protection throughout the flu season, people who are immunized in December, January and February are protected.
MYTH 3: Only people 65 and older need the influenza vaccine.
FACT: Flu vaccine is recommended for everyone age 50 and older. But ANYONE 6 months or older can benefit from it. It's hard to believe, but children 24 months and younger are hospitalized with flu complications at the same rate as people 65 and older.
The following are some of the people for whom influenza vaccine is recommended in the United States:
(1) People 50 and older.
(2) Anyone 6 months and older who has medical problems such as heart or lung disease (including asthma), diabetes, kidney disease or a weak immune system.
(3) Women who will be 14 or more weeks pregnant between December and March, which is flu season.
(4) Health-care workers.
(5) Caregivers who work with or live with people with the problems listed above.
(6) Anyone who wants to avoid the risk of spreading the flu (and its possible complications) to a loved one or friend. Flu vaccine protects not only you, but also the people you care about.
A nasal spray form of influenza vaccine is newly licensed in the U.S. this year. For more information about it, your readers should consult their health-care professionals. -- DEBORAH WEXLER, M.D., EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR, IMMUNIZATION ACTION COALITION
DEAR DR. WEXLER: Thank you for your timely reminder. From personal experience, I can say that neither I nor my husband has contracted the flu since we began getting flu shots. Other excellent candidates who should consider being immunized include police and fire personnel, teachers, bus drivers, and people who come in contact with the public.
Readers, if you have questions about influenza vaccine, or any other vaccine, you can find reliable information by calling the National Immunization Information Hotline: (800) 232-2522, or visit the Web site: www.vaccineinformation.org.
Girl at Head of the Class Feels Socially Left Behind
DEAR ABBY: I am 13 years old and people say I'm cute. I have many girlfriends and a 4.0 GPA. I excel in sports and had the lead in the spring musical. So why do all my friends have boys coming up to them to talk -- and I don't? Every time I talk to boys, they act like they can't wait to get away from me. When I say, "Hi," they don't answer.
I've asked my best friends about this. They say I am "too smart," and it makes boys feel uncomfortable. I love school, and I confess I like doing my research projects on the night they are assigned, even though we're given two weeks to complete them.
At a slumber party a few nights ago, we played a game where we all predicted where we would be in 20 years. My friends told me I wouldn't be married. I would be a rocket scientist instead.
Should I concentrate less on school assignments and work on my social skills with boys? -- A GIRL WITH ONLY GIRLFRIENDS
DEAR GIRL: Absolutely not. You are the girl who has everything -- looks, brains, talent and coordination. The boys in your age group are behind you in their social development. Please be patient. Do not "dumb down" for anyone. In a year or two, those boys will not only catch up to you, but they'll be beating down your door -- and that will open up a whole new set of "problems." Trust me.
DEAR ABBY: I will be 79 in a few weeks and recently received notice of my 60th high school reunion. I was an outstanding beauty when I was 18, but now I have thinning hair and gravity has taken its toll on me.
I grew up in a small town outside of Boston and was one of a class of 160 students. I was extremely promiscuous back then. I slept with more than two-thirds of the boys in my class -- and everyone knew it.
My problem is, my wonderful "steady man" insists that we go to the reunion. He has been my generous provider for many years and I don't want to argue. I hate seeing my classmates with my "old face," and hope nobody will make unkind comments about my past.
What should I do? -- FORMER BELLE OF THE BALL
DEAR FORMER BELLE: Put on a happy face and attend the reunion. Time waits for no man -- or woman -- and that includes your former classmates. Please don't be self-conscious about your appearance or your past. After 60 years, everyone will probably be more than willing to let bygones be bygones.
DEAR ABBY: "Not a Princess in Pasadena" asked what to do for her friend who isn't as financially well off as she is. You missed a great opportunity to recommend volunteering.
The girls could become candy stripers in a hospital, read to the elderly at a nursing home, run errands for shut-ins -- all sorts of things. Assuming they do a good job, they will get good references for jobs or higher education. Those teens should contact the nearest hospital, nursing home, social service agency or church, and inquire about what volunteer programs are available for teen-agers. If there aren't any, they might consider organizing a few friends and creating one.
They would really enjoy it, and it wouldn't cost either of them a penny. My two kids did exactly that and loved it! -- NANCY HABLUTZEL, PH.D., J.D., CHICAGO
DEAR NANCY: What a terrific suggestion. There is always a need to be filled if people look for it. Even a few hours a week can make a big difference in someone's life.
To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Keepers Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)
Single Dad Has Big Plans to Improve His Son's Life
DEAR ABBY: I am a 20-year-old single father of a beautiful 13-month-old little boy. His mother took off with my best friend when our son was only 2 months old. I have a good job, my own place and don't depend on anyone, but I wish I could go back to school so I could provide my son with an even greater future.
I would like to get my high school diploma, go on to college, and become a police officer and mentor young fathers like myself. I don't have any support from my parents as far as my education goes. My mom says to be happy with what I have and stop being selfish.
Is it selfish to want more out of life? Right now I am just living paycheck to paycheck. -- SINGLE FATHER IN HOUSTON
DEAR SINGLE FATHER: Selfish? Quite the opposite! While I agree with your mother that a person should be happy with what he or she can't change, I don't think that philosophy applies when it comes to furthering one's education.
Pick up the phone, call the high schools in your area, and ask about adult education programs so you can get your GED -- the equivalent of a high school diploma. With that in hand, you will qualify for entry into a community college. There is no reason why, in time, you cannot fulfill your dream. Others have done it; go for it! You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
DEAR ABBY: I am a wife and mother of two boys. Last year I left my job of six years to start my own business. Unfortunately, my business has not generated the income my family and I need. I am now looking for work, along with thousands of other people.
My problem is, I have a criminal record that stems from two small but painful incidents when I was 18. My husband knows about my record, but no one else does.
When going on job interviews, I have been honest and up-front about my past, but it seems I'm put on the "ignore list" once the interviewer hears about my record. They can't see the years that have passed without so much as a traffic ticket; how I solved my problem through therapy; the stable environment my husband and I provide for our boys; nor the years of hard work I devoted to my previous job and current business.
How can I find someone who will hire me while my growing business takes off? Should I lie about my record? I know it's hard to trust a stranger, but I'm a hard worker, an honest and faithful employee -- and I am desperate. -- LOST IN TEXAS
DEAR LOST: You should not lie. However, it would be helpful if you can provide letters of recommendation from previous employers, your clergyperson, and respected people in your community who will vouch for your honesty and the success of your rehabilitation.
DEAR ABBY: For my birthday, I was given a gift certificate for a day of beauty services at a high-priced spa.
Am I supposed to tip each person who works on me that day, or has that been included in the price of the gift certificate? -- NEEDS TO KNOW IN MINNESOTA
DEAR NEEDS TO KNOW: What a generous gift! Tips are not included in the cost of a gift certificate. Therefore, each person who renders service should be tipped 15 percent -- or more if the service is exceptional. (Ask to see a price schedule when you go in, so you know the value of each service.)
For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)