DEAR ABBY: Last summer, before we were married, my fiance, "Justin," and I had a conversation that led to him telling me that he thought my mother was prettier and more sexually attractive than I am. I was devastated. I am the spitting image of my mother. He later apologized for what he said and we moved on. However, it took me months to regain my self-esteem to a point where I could even look at myself in the mirror.
Justin has always been the type to prefer older women. In fact, he has dated several. (He is 6 1/2 years older than I am.) I cannot help but feel he would rather be with my mom. It doesn't help matters that my mother is the biggest flirt I know. She flirts constantly with Justin, and when I confront her about it, she tells me I am "overreacting."
Even now, after more than a year, I still get bouts of depression that leave me feeling worthless. Although I know he loves me, I feel he will never look at me and see someone as sexy and beautiful as my mother. What do I need to do to get over this? -- HURTING IN CANADA
DEAR HURTING: You need to get counseling, because you must come to terms with your relationship with your competitive and insecure mother and the damage she has done to your self-esteem.
You ARE the one your husband wants to be with. But I don't think you will truly accept that fact until you have resolved, with professional help, your relationship with your mother. Please don't wait. You'll be glad you did.