DEAR ABBY: You missed what could be an important point for "Confused in New York." If she spends some time reflecting on who she is vs. who her mother expects her to be, she may find out she's gay.
"Confused" should concentrate on her goal of becoming an architect (preferably at a school far from her hometown) and see how she develops out of her mom's shadow. She can stay single as long as she wants and just explore what's out there.
Whether she's meant to date boys or girls, it will happen when she's ready. -- NO LONGER CONFUSED IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR NO LONGER CONFUSED: I agree that the young woman should concentrate on her goals, but I advised her to seek counseling because it will help her to find out, in a safe and nurturing environment, who she is and what she wants.