DEAR ABBY: "Keeping Secrets in Chicago" wrote about children who confide a problem in a trusted adult other than a parent, and asked if that person is supposed to keep the confidence or intercede with the parents on the child's behalf.
I have been an educator for almost 30 years -- 20 having been spent as a middle-school teacher. I have often been the confidante for troubled teens. This is what I have learned:
Never, ever promise not to tell. When asked to keep a secret, I always reply: "I can see that you are troubled, and I'm here to help you if I can. But I can't promise not to tell."
Abby, I have never had a teenager walk away. They've always chosen to go ahead and share their problem with me. I am then free to use my judgment about how best to serve the student's best interest. -- CHRIS BERGQUIST FULMER, NORTH LAKE COLLEGE, IRVING, TEXAS
DEAR CHRIS: That's a good policy. To do otherwise would betray a confidence.