DEAR ABBY: "Going Coconuts" complained that she and her fiance are having a Hawaiian-themed wedding and had received an invitation to a pre-wedding potluck luau at the home of her future brother and sister-in-law. She felt hurt and angry because they had "stolen" her theme. You sided with her.
I disagree. Her future in-laws may have been only trying to extend the theme of the wedding. "Coconuts" needs to remember that you don't marry just the man -- you also marry the family. This is no time to start a feud. If she doesn't attend the party, she'll be starting off on the wrong foot with her fiance's family.
I think you -- and "Coconuts" -- took it the wrong way. -- HAPPY INDIANA IN-LAW
DEAR HAPPY IN-LAW: I received a stack of letters from readers echoing your sentiments. I did not consider that the brother and sister-in-law might simply be applying the theme of the wedding rather than co-opting it. It would have been better had I offered the bride-to-be a dose of cool reality rather than a soft shoulder. I hope my advice didn't pour cold water on a hot party. Mea culpa.