DEAR ABBY: I have a dear friend who is considerate to the extreme when it comes to remembering special occasions in the lives of her friends and family. She calls or sends cards to acknowledge every anniversary, birthday or special event. However, I think that at some point it should stop.
Both my parents have passed away during the last five years. They were wonderful people who lived full lives. I remember them privately on the anniversaries of their deaths.
My problem is that on these special dates, my friend always calls to say she is "thinking of me." This sends me into a tailspin of mourning, because her call is never timely. I may be thinking of other things and not dwelling on the past.
Abby, how do I tell her to remove me from her list of death remembrance calls without offending her? I realize she's only trying to be thoughtful. -- DO NOT DISTURB IN TEXAS
DEAR DO NOT DISTURB: Level with her. Thank her for her thoughtfulness. Remind her that everyone copes with death in his or her own way -- then tell her exactly what you have written to me. It's honest, and she shouldn't be offended.