Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
DEAR READERS: Letters are still coming in with suggestions for offbeat uses for pantyhose. Some of you deserve a medal for innovation. Read on:
DEAR ABBY: When the upholstered backrest of my favorite chair separated from the back panel, I tried to put the parts back together with glue, Velcro, earthquake wax (used by museums to secure priceless art objects), etc. Nothing worked.
Control-top pantyhose to the rescue! I tugged the elastic waist around the two broken pieces and lowered the pantyhose over the top of the chair to make the front and back one section again. I wrapped the legs around the whole chair twice and tied the ends in back with a firm knot. Now the chair can't fall apart. Sign me ... DID IT WITHOUT DUCT TAPE, CLAREMONT, CALIF.
DEAR ABBY: For more than 30 years, I flagged races for the American Motorcycle Association. Believe it or not, racers use pantyhose to protect themselves when they take a spill.
Because of the heat generated by intense friction, the leather pants racers wear can stick to their skin when they slide. Pantyhose allow the body to move under the leather without sticking. I learned this trick in the '60s when I saw a rider donning a pair. -- RUSS, RETIRED STARTER, HAMPTON, GA.
DEAR ABBY: This predates pantyhose a bit: Forty-four years ago, I joined the Royal Canadian Mounted Police and was required to spit-shine two pairs of brown riding boots, two pairs of black ankle boots and one pair of Wellingtons.
Each evening, after all the spit-shines were complete, a ball of nylon stockings a bit larger than a baseball was used to "fine-tune" the job.
To this day, I still have that nylon ball -- but I'll never reveal where it came from! -- R.B. IN OTTAWA
DEAR ABBY: When I worked for construction companies during the cold winter months, I found a way to keep twice as warm as the rest of the crew, who were always bundled up like Eskimos.
Having noticed women running about in cold weather with only nylon pantyhose covering their legs, I tried a pair under my work pants. Lo and behold! I was warm as toast!
After I was persistently questioned by the guys about why I wore less clothing but always seemed warmer than they were, I told them my secret, and they had a good laugh.
One by one, the rest of the crew took up the practice -- and guess who had the last laugh. -- RETIRED IN TEXAS
DEAR ABBY: People who show horses braid the legs of cut-off pantyhose into their horses' newly washed tails. Then they tie the toe ends together so the tail is looped well off the ground. This prevents the horse from stepping on its tail and prevents it from being soiled.
One of my neighbors slipped your last column about pantyhose under my door with a note: "We can top this!" I live in a large retirement community, and more than 50 lovely ladies here donate their used pantyhose for my daughter's horse. -- RUTH MARSON, POMONA, CALIF.
DEAR RUTH: I hope that wasn't a tall tail.
'Harmless' Adult Gossip Falls Heavily on Young Girl's Ears
DEAR ABBY: When I was growing up, my mother and the other ladies in our church were extremely polite to each other. However, when one of them wasn't present, the others would talk behind her back. They would compliment a woman to her face, then criticize her as soon as she walked away.
Mother always defended this behavior as a "harmless" pastime. I don't know whether or not it hurt the people who were the butt of gossip, but I know it harmed me and the children who were listening.
Their behavior taught me not to trust anyone -- especially people who were nice to my face. Instead, I trusted abusive people because I thought they were being honest. I ended up running with a bad crowd and found myself dating abusive men because I couldn't trust polite guys.
When someone complimented me, I didn't believe it, so I never developed self-confidence. I was afraid people were laughing at me behind my back. I had trouble making friends with other girls because I was afraid to open up and reveal my feelings for fear that whatever I said would become grist for the gossip mill.
After a year of therapy, I have finally found the self-confidence I lacked. My sisters haven't been so lucky. Neither has friends. Both are married to abusive men.
Abby, please inform your readers that there is nothing "harmless" about gossip, especially to children who may overhear it. -- GAINING TRUST IN GEORGIA
DEAR GAINING TRUST: Your experience and that of your sisters has stated that fact more strongly than I could have. It brings to mind a piece that has appeared in my column before. Read on:
NOBODY's FRIEND
(Author Unknown)
My name is Gossip. I have no respect for justice.
I maim without killing. I break hearts and ruin lives.
I am cunning and malicious and gather strength with age.
The more I am quoted the more I am believed.
My victims are helpless. They cannot protect themselves against me because I have no name or face.
To track me down is impossible. The harder you try, the more elusive I become.
I am nobody's friend.
Once I tarnish a reputation, it is never the same.
I topple governments and wreck marriages.
I ruin careers and cause sleepless nights, heartaches and indigestion.
I make innocent people cry in their pillows.
Even my name hisses. I am called Gossip. I make headlines and headaches.
Readers, before you repeat a story, ask yourself: Is it true? Is it harmless? Is it necessary?
If it isn't, don't repeat it.
DEAR ABBY: I spent a chunk of money on my daughter's high school graduation announcements and senior pictures. She has yet to receive even one card of congratulations from any of the friends and relatives to whom we mailed announcements. I'm hurt and disappointed. -- MISSOURI MOM
DEAR MOM: Your feelings are valid. Your daughter's achievement was praiseworthy and deserved to be acknowledged, if only with a card or congratulatory phone call.
For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
DEAR ABBY: This is regarding "Ready to Go It Alone in Mississippi," the bride-to-be who had no one to walk her down the aisle.
The day before my son and his wife married, her father died after a long illness. It was heartbreaking, but the wedding went ahead as planned.
My son and his beautiful bride came up with a plan. My future daughter-in-law came from a large family -- nine brothers and one sister. Her nine brothers escorted their mother into the church, and when it was time for the bride to enter, my son left his position at the altar, met her at the rear of the chapel, and they walked down the aisle together. Abby, it was the perfect solution. There wasn't a dry eye in the church. -- PROUD MOTHER-IN-LAW IN CINCINNATI
DEAR MOTHER-IN-LAW: I'm sure her father was with his daughter and all of you in spirit on that special day. Read on:
DEAR ABBY: I faced a similar predicament as "Ready to Go It Alone" when I married in 1961. Added to my dismay of having no one to "give me away," was the fact that I was only 18 and scared silly.
I decided to let nothing ruin my day, so I put a smile on my face and started down the aisle on what looked like the longest walk of my life. As I passed the first row of guests, one of my cousins gave me a wink and a thumbs-up. I leaned over and gave her a hug. As I proceeded down the aisle, I stopped to hug or kiss several more loved ones who were seated along the way. By the time I reached my groom, the guests were joyfully laughing and broke into applause.
"Ready to Go It Alone" shouldn't worry that her mother thinks it's "horrific" to walk solo down the aisle. If the bride approaches her wedding day with the right attitude, she'll have a wonderful time, and so will everyone who shares her happiness. -- BEEN THERE/DONE THAT IN ILLINOIS
DEAR B.T.D.T.: Well said!
DEAR ABBY: This is for the bride whose mother disapproved of her daughter walking down the aisle alone. Mom needs to realize that young women are no longer "given away." Here is how my daughters and I solved the problem:
I was escorted by an usher to the traditional pew reserved for the mother of the bride. When my daughter appeared at the rear of the church and everybody rose, I stepped into the aisle and waited to meet her. We then walked the rest of the way together.
Instead of the minister asking who is giving the bride in marriage, he asked, "Who supports this decision?" I responded, "Her sister and I do." I returned to my seat; the ceremony continued. Many guests commented favorably about the positive way in which the situation was handled. -- HAPPY WE DID IT "OUR WAY"
DEAR ABBY: I am a 20-year resident of Germany, and I married a German man. I have a suggestion for "Ready to Go It Alone in Mississippi." Here in Germany, the bride is not "given away." Instead, the happy couple walks down the aisle together. This lovely custom serves as a symbol of starting their own life. -- MONIQUE SIMMER, SAARBRUECKEN, GERMANY
DEAR MONIQUE: As your letter proves, there are many varied but perfectly acceptable wedding customs. Culture isn't static, it's organic -- and change is healthy.
WORTH REMEMBERING: "No human race is superior; no religious faith is inferior. All collective judgments are wrong. Only racists make them." -- Elie Wiesel, Nobel laureate and Holocaust survivor (1928--)
For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)