To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)
Stranded Travelers Encounter Kindness of Many Strangers
DEAR ABBY: On Sept. 10, 2001, my husband and I flew to Las Vegas for a three-day mini-vacation. Then 9/11 happened. Along with millions of other American citizens, any plans we had were changed.
Our three-day holiday extended into five days of utter confusion. Guards were stationed everywhere in the casino of our hotel. It was necessary to make many trips to our room to assure family members by phone that we were all right. Each time we used the elevator to go to our room, we had to show proof that we were guests of the hotel before being allowed to proceed.
We also had to rebook our flight, as our original departure had been canceled. Finally, on Sept. 15, we were able to schedule a flight home. As we left our room for the last time, I looked down and saw two shiny 2001 pennies lying in the doorway. Somehow, finding those pennies made me less apprehensive about flying. They are now tucked away along with the story of where we were on that fateful day.
When we got to the airport, we saw weary travelers standing patiently in line for blocks. I would like to offer special thanks to the airport employees who worked diligently to get people to their departure gates.
My husband must use a cane for any extended walking or standing, and a nurse in our line alerted airport personnel that he needed a wheelchair. One was provided as soon as possible. He was then directed to wait inside the terminal while I was told to go to the end of the long line and meet him when I got to the doorway. A wonderful young man close to the front offered to trade places in line so I could have his place. Abby, he had been waiting there for hours.
Those are just two incidents of kindness and generosity we experienced that day. Whoever and wherever you are, thank you again. -- MR. AND MRS. GEORGE CULLINS, GRATEFUL OHIOANS
DEAR MR. AND MRS. CULLINS: Thank you for sharing your experience. It shows that sometimes tragedy has a way of bringing out the best in people.
DEAR ABBY: I debated, but I finally decided the woman who wrote about wanting a "sparkler" on her 25th wedding anniversary needs to know my story.
My friend, hero and love proposed to me by quoting Shakespeare in a valentine. He was finishing his master's degree and there was no money for an engagement ring. Instead, he gave me his fraternity pin, and we married with matching gold bands in 1953. Each year, on Valentine's Day, we would mention something about renewing our marriage contract for another year. It was our ongoing joke.
On our 25th anniversary, he took me to dinner at our favorite neighborhood restaurant. The conversation that evening covered many topics -- our pride in the accomplishments of our four children, their upcoming marriages, etc. He then asked me if I would be engaged to him for the next 25 years -- and presented me with the engagement ring he couldn't afford 25 years earlier. We planned to renew our vows on our 50th anniversary, but God called him after only 47 years together.
Abby, it certainly isn't the biggest "sparkler" in the world -- but it's the most precious possession I own. -- KAY BELL, WESTMINSTER, COLO.
DEAR KAY: I'm not surprised. It symbolizes the wealth of love and accomplishment you and your beloved husband shared together.
DEAR ABBY: A few days ago, while walking down our stairs holding my infant son, "Carl," in one arm and a cordless phone in my other hand, I tripped over our cat and fell down 14 hardwood stairs. I dropped the phone and cradled my baby close to my body.
I ended up with a black eye, six stitches, a fat lip, a broken hand, and more bumps and bruises than you can imagine. Miraculously, Carl is fine.
Since that day, my mind has been filled with "what ifs," especially regarding my son. I am haunted by all the horrible possibilities.
It's embarrassing to have fallen down the stairs, Abby, but I know many busy mothers are distracted every day. I'm writing because I hope my experience will help others avoid such an accident. -- BLACK-AND-BLUE MOM
DEAR MOM: You learned a painful lesson. There is an old saying, "You can't do two things at once." Although many people can safely multitask, when one is carrying a baby or small child, the safest course of action is to remember you are carrying precious cargo and give it your full attention.
DEAR ABBY: A year ago, my husband and I moved into a lovely neighborhood. We became acquainted with our neighbors across the street, and they seemed like nice people. The problem is they now assume they are our best friends.
We have introduced them to a few of our old friends, and now they think they are part of our "group." They have even followed us when we have been invited to our friends' homes and have shown up uninvited. We don't tell them where we are going -- they drive around until they spot our car.
This is very embarrassing. We are afraid our old friends will stop inviting us knowing that these neighbors will show up too.
How do we handle this without hurting their feelings? We have never had a problem like this before. -- ANNA IN ATLANTA
DEAR ANNA: Your neighbors probably have no friends because they are so needy and possessive. However, following you and intruding on others' get-togethers is rude. Their unacceptable behavior will not stop until someone (how about you?) explains to them that guests who drop in uninvited are not welcome.
DEAR ABBY: My 21-year-old daughter has been dating a 28-year-old man since last summer. I feel strongly that he's too old for her and have expressed this to both of them.
This guy is very good to my daughter and seems to care a great deal for her. Frankly, the only thing I can fault him for is the fact that he's a little too opinionated. Other than that, he's great. However, I still have a problem with the age difference. What do you think, Abby? -- WORRIED MOM IN KENTUCKY
DEAR MOM: Unless your daughter is extremely immature for her years, a seven-year age difference should not present a problem. Of greater concern to me is your comment about him being "too opinionated." You wrote, "It's the only thing I can fault him for."
Perhaps the problem is you don't agree with his opinions. As long as he respects yours and you respect his, there should be no problem.
Time will tell whether or not this man has any character flaws, but keep in mind that few people (male or female) are eager to be placed under a microscope. For everyone's sake, please lighten up.
Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
MOTHER'S APRON STRINGS ARE STRANGLING MIDDLE-AGED SON
DEAR ABBY: I am a 36-year-old single man who has boomeranged between living on my own and with my parents during the past three years. Finally, I'm planning on moving to a permanent place of my own.
The problem is my mother appears to deeply resent my leaving. Ever since the moving issue came up, no matter what I do or say, I cannot do anything right by Mom. It's brought out the worst in her.
My new apartment is closer to my job, and it's only 30 miles away, so I will be able to visit my parents often. I understand that Mom has health problems and needs help, but I have five siblings in the area, and I could always be at my folks' quickly to help with any emergency.
Because I am not married nor do I have children, I sometimes think this makes my family feel as if it's my job to take care of our parents. I love them, but these past three years have created resentment and frustration on my part. I feel I would be a healthier person living on my own, but I don't know how to communicate this to Mom. Please help, Abby. This is tearing our relationship apart. -- FRUSTRATED SON IN FLORIDA
DEAR FRUSTRATED SON: Sometimes relationships need to be torn apart before they can be successfully reconstructed. Consider this move a period of growth for you and your mother. You are a loving son who has the right to a life of your own. However, your mother may have greater fears about her health than you realize. Speak to your siblings and urge them to stay closer in touch. She needs reassurance that someone is nearby to help her if she needs assistance.
DEAR ABBY: I have been living with "Jerry" for two years. When we moved in together, we both brought furniture and household items into our new home. I want us to buy a new sofa. Jerry insists on putting his old one into storage instead of getting rid of it. Should I be worried he isn't fully committed to our relationship? -- GOING NOWHERE IN CINCINNATI
DEAR GOING NOWHERE: No. I suspect the old couch holds memories for Jerry that he's reluctant to part with. Time may resolve this problem when he realizes that the fees for storing the couch add up to more than the purchase price.
DEAR ABBY: I have lived with "Fred" on and off for five years. We argue all the time. Last week, I moved out again. Fred gave me an engagement ring for Christmas two years ago, and that same week he asked an old girlfriend to go on vacation with him and his children. Episodes like this have happened more than once since we have been together.
Fred is very friendly with any female he meets, and it drives me crazy. I go back to him because he swears he wants only me, yet we still argue about women, kids, money -- you name it. I know he will never change and wonder if I still love him.
Abby, do you think I should continue counseling, marry Fred, or leave him for good? -- 55 AND CONFUSED IN TULSA
DEAR 55 AND CONFUSED: Continue counseling until you figure out why you keep returning to a ladies man with whom you have so many serious issues. Once you have that figured out, the answer to your question will be obvious.
To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)