DEAR ABBY: I recently moved to a small town in Texas, in order to marry a man, "Kenny," who has lived here all his life. This will be his second marriage and my first.
The problem? Everywhere I go -- the beauty shop, the market, church, get-togethers with Kenny's friends, you name it -- someone always brings up his ex-wife.
When Kenny and I announced our engagement, one of the girls at a church potluck complimented me on my ring. Then a guy piped up, "Well, Kenny ought to be good at picking rings out by now!" Abby, it ruined the entire moment. This happens all the time.
Will I forever live in the shadow of my fiance's first wife? What can I do to change it? Please don't reveal my name or city -- everyone in town would know it was me. -- IRRITATED IN A SMALL TOWN
DEAR IRRITATED: You don't have to live in the shadow of anyone unless you choose to. However, what you are experiencing is not unusual when you have a "recycled" fiance.
Accept the fact that, in an attempt at humor, people sometimes say thoughtless things. It may take time, but eventually the local folk will stop associating your husband-to-be with his former spouse.
In the meantime, keep your sense of humor and remember that Kenny is yours -- and you have the ring to prove it.