To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)
Pennies From Heaven Keep Falling Into Grateful Hands
DEAR READERS: Much to my delight, pennies-from-heaven letters continue to pour in. Read on:
DEAR ABBY: Your letters about "pennies from heaven" have touched my heart more than words can express. At the time that the letters first appeared in your column, my father was losing his battle with cancer. He died peacefully at home last month with his loving family by his side.
The morning of his funeral, I asked the funeral director to place 11 pennies in his pocket. Each penny represents a member of our immediate family. You can be sure that all of us will be looking for those pennies to fall from heaven! -- DIANNE RICHARDSON-CONDA, MOUNT LAUREL, N.J.
DEAR DIANNE: Please accept my sympathy for the loss of your father. Keep your eyes peeled for those pennies. They're sure to come back to you.
DEAR ABBY: Seven years ago my husband had a stroke. The first day I walked out of the hospital, I picked up three pennies and put them in my pocket. His condition was touch-and-go.
Every day walking out of the hospital, I would find a penny or two and add them to the others in my pocket. When I changed clothes, I would transfer the pennies to the pocket of what I was wearing. It seems unbelievable, but every single day I would find more pennies. In a strange way, I found it comforting because I felt reassured my husband would pull through -- and he did!
To this day, every time I pick up a penny on the street, I add it to the pennies I saved from the hospital. I will never spend them because they brought my husband and me good luck when we most needed it. -- LENA KATZ, WEST PALM BEACH, FLA.
DEAR LENA: Those pennies are a tangible reminder of your good fortune. And that alone makes them priceless.
DEAR ABBY: My mother had a favorite penny story from when she was a little girl in Farmville, Va., in the 1890s. She died in 1983 at the age of 93.
Times were tough and there was no money in the house. So my grandmother sent my mother to the store to buy a penny's worth of oil for their lamp -- with the promise to pay the stern general store owner "next week."
Sheepishly, she left the house, walked down the front path and opened the gate. Lo and behold! There was a penny lying on the street. Mother always called it a miracle. -- MARTHA IN CLEVELAND HEIGHTS, OHIO
DEAR MARTHA: I don't blame her. That penny saved your mother a world of embarrassment, and that's worth more than money can buy.
DEAR ABBY: Three years ago, my father passed away in upstate New York. We traveled to his funeral from our home in North Carolina. Within two weeks we sold the home and moved Mom back to North Carolina with us. They had been married for 58 years.
My mother passed away last year. Before her casket was closed, one of my relatives approached me and asked if I had put three pennies in my mother's pocket. I was confused and asked what she was talking about. She told me there were three bridges Mother would have to cross to get to heaven.
I immediately placed six pennies in my mother's pocket to pay the toll -- I knew my dad was waiting patiently for her at the first bridge. -- MISSING MOM AND DAD IN GODWIN, N.C.
DEAR MISSING: How touching. It's nice to know you can "take it with you."
Ever Present Mother in Law Is Long Past Being Welcome
DEAR ABBY: Our oldest daughter, her husband and infant son have been living with us a little over a year. My mother-in-law, "Helen," lives next door.
Helen is retired, does no volunteer work and has no social life to speak of. The problem is that she spends all her free time at our house.
Her excuse is always to see the baby, but if one of us leaves the room, Helen will spend only a few minutes with the baby, then follow us to whatever room we have escaped to.
I work full-time outside the home, so it's only a weekend problem for me. However, my daughter is home with the baby all day, and my mother-in-law is making her crazy! My son-in-law's day off was today. Helen was at the house a total of three hours by 2 p.m.
My husband won't come out and say he is bothered by his mother's frequent, lengthy visits, but the kids and I have noticed that whenever she comes over, he finds a hideout.
We have gone so far as to ignore Helen's presence as much as possible, but she doesn't take the hint. Abby, please remind the older generation that they need to stay active with people their own age and not expect their children to be their life when their own slows down. -- ANNOYED UP TO HERE, SMALL TOWN, TEXAS
DEAR ANNOYED: You haven't mentioned your mother-in-law's age, but she may have a fear of being alone. If she hasn't had a recent medical examination, she should be evaluated physically and mentally to determine if there is a problem.
If Helen is healthy, then you and your husband should make an effort to socialize her with people her own age. Investigate senior centers in your area and low-cost transportation to get her there. We all need activities outside the home.
DEAR ABBY: I have been married for eight months, but I still haven't sent out my thank-yous for our wedding gifts. I lost the list of "who got what" for us, and I don't want everyone to know how careless I am.
Some family members have asked if we are still married because they haven't received their thank-yous. Do you have any suggestions on what I can do to fix this awkward situation? -- EMBARRASSED BRIDE IN OHIO
DEAR EMBARRASSED BRIDE: Call the people and level with them. Ask what they gave you and then write those thank-you notes. They don't have to be long, flowery or fancy.
DEAR ABBY: You advised "Mother Under Pressure" to allow her 10-year-old daughter to begin shaving her legs, and I wholeheartedly agree.
I faced the same dilemma with my then 9-year-old girl. She begged me to let her shave her legs. I pitched a fit and fussed and fumed. Each time she pleaded, I refused her.
My daughter is now 22 and has gone from almost dying from anorexia to drug addiction. How I wish I had her precious childhood years back again. My advice to "Mother Under Pressure" is this: DON'T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF! -- REGRETFUL MOM IN GEORGIA
DEAR MOM: Well said. A wise parent knows how to pick her (or his) battles. I hope your daughter is soon on the road to recovery.
For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more sociable person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)
Crash Into Mailbox Damages Car and Destroys Friendship
DEAR ABBY: Two weeks ago, my friend "Shannon" came over with her children for a play date. As she backed out of my driveway, she accidentally hit my mailbox. She was very shaken up at the time. I was more concerned that no one was injured because my mailbox is set into a large concrete post and Shannon's car was damaged. She promised she'd "take care of it." I told her to drive home safely; we'd discuss it another time.
My husband, who is not fond of this couple and vice versa, said I should have filed a police report, given the cost of the damage was $350. I told him I didn't think it was necessary because Shannon had promised to take care of it.
Two weeks went by; she never called. Because of my husband's dislike for her, the situation escalated into a daily argument at my house.
When I finally called her, Shannon informed me she wasn't interested in spending money on my mailbox and didn't understand what I needed a $350 mailbox for.
My husband called her husband the following day to ask why he and his wife thought they were not responsible. The husband said, "Your friendship isn't worth $350. A friend would never ask a friend for the money. I'll send you $150 and don't ever call us again."
A short while later, Shannon called me screaming, "How dare your husband call mine at work? I'll send you the $150, and I'm never speaking to you again!" Then she hung up on me.
I'm so hurt. I thought these people were friends. Was I wrong to expect them to pay for the damage? Was my husband out of line to try and discuss this with them? Aren't they responsible?
My husband wants to sue them in small claims court. Her husband even told mine to go ahead and try. I don't want to drag myself through it.
Your thoughts, please. -- HURT IN CORAL SPRINGS, FLA.
DEAR HURT: Regardless of what you thought, the couple were not only not friends, they are also seriously lacking in character. Mature and responsible people live up to their obligations. Since you heard nothing from Shannon for two weeks, your husband was within his rights to follow up by calling hers.
Small claims court is there for just the kind of dispute that you have described. I see no reason to let these people get away with it. The friendship is over anyway. Why should you be out the money, too?
DEAR Abby: This is for "Name Caller in Texas," who didn't know how to address her stepparent during introductions.
When my husband's son began to introduce me to his new college housemates, he became embarrassed and blurted out, "What do I call you anyway?"
I quickly replied, "Why, Wicked Stepmother, of course!" Said with a smile, it works every time! -- SHELAGH M'GONIGLE, OTTAWA, ONTARIO
DEAR SHELAGH: You are blessed with a wicked sense of humor. I'm sure it was appreciated by all.
Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $10 (U.S. funds)
to: Dear Abby -- Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)