DEAR ABBY: "Missing My Friend in Indiana" wrote that her young friend had been killed, and wondered if she should write to her friend's parents to tell them what a lovely daughter they had. Your advice was correct: Such a letter would be a great comfort to the parents.
On April 2, 2001, we lost our dear son, Jeff, in a commercial fishing accident. He was on a boat called the Arctic Rose that went down in the Bering Sea. All 15 hands were tragically lost.
We waited four agonizing days before the Coast Guard finally called off the search. During that time, we received a letter from a young woman who knew Jeff in high school. She told us the story of how she met him in class and asked him to a dance. Then she described how special Jeff was and what a good friend he had been to her.
Abby, I read that letter again and again. It gives me great comfort, and I can never thank that young woman enough. I hope "Missing My Friend" will write those parents today. Letters like that are all we have left of our Jeff. Shared memories of him have helped us to cope with our loss. -- KATHY AND DAVID MEINCKE
DEAR KATHY AND DAVID: Please accept my sympathy for the tragic loss of your son. Your experience validates the fact that a letter of condolence can be a treasured keepsake and a lasting source of comfort for the recipient.