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by Abigail Van Buren

Woman Who Likes to Cuddle Has Friends Who Want More

DEAR ABBY: I am a 13-year-old girl. I have a nice family, except for one thing. Every once in a while, my grandmother, "Nanie," on my father's side, wants me to spend one or two nights at her house. The problem is, our personalities clash. I like sports, playing in the school band, etc. She wants me to learn how to sew, cook, grow vegetables and play canasta. She fusses over me and bothers me no end.

I recently wiggled out of one of those overnights, and my father and Nanie smelled a rat. If I tell my father how I feel, he will get angry. (My mother is playing neutral.)

I really do love Nanie a lot. She's old and sensitive, and I don't want to hurt her feelings -- or my Dad's -- or create a family rift. Abby, can you think of a way to tell Nanie to stop treating me like a 9-year-old? -- GETTING MATURE IN TEXAS

DEAR GETTING MATURE: Maturity is a process of growth, and both you and Nanie need to learn the art of compromise together. Learning to sew, cook and maintain a garden are handy and practical skills. But in return, your grandmother should cheer you on in your athletic competitions and applaud when you march with the band.