DEAR ABBY: My fiance won't marry me on July 18 because it's his former wife's birthday. He says he doesn't want to hurt her. We would be on a Hawaiian cruise, and the 18th is the day we will be in Waimanalo Bay for the wedding. I didn't pick the date on purpose. He says no, and also says I don't "get it."
Why is he so able to hurt me? -- HURT 2 THE CORE
DEAR HURT: He's able to hurt you because you refuse to accept the message he's sending. A man who is more concerned about his ex-wife's feelings than his fiancee's is not fully committed to marrying.
If the tickets are paid for, go on the cruise yourself and take a friend. Send him a postcard on the 18th. Tell him you finally "got it" and, for better or for worse, "Aloha!"