DEAR ABBY: I love my boyfriend dearly. He's my soul mate. However, he does something that really bothers me. He goes into my e-mail and other messaging systems. He claims it's to "protect me." (I am 50-plus and can take care of myself!)
If he's looking for signs of cheating, he will never find them. I don't cheat. I have nothing to hide from him. He knows my passwords and can log onto my PC whenever he wants. When he does, he's been known to misconstrue messages and get upset over them. This creates long, tearful discussions about why I didn't tell him this or that.
Abby, this is driving me crazy. Please help. -- CONFUSED VIRGINIAN
DEAR CONFUSED: Your "soul mate" is extremely insecure and controlling. Healthy relationships are based on trust. By invading your privacy and forcing "long, tearful discussions," he is putting you on the defensive. He's not trying to "protect you"; his demands to be told everything are control techniques.
Change your password to "takeahike!" Don't let him intimidate you -- make it clear you deserve your privacy. If he refuses to change, delete him from your life. You'll be doing yourself a big favor.