DEAR ABBY: I need your help. I am being married next summer. I am 23 and have been with my fiancee since high school. She is very possessive and insecure. When we go out, I find myself looking at other women and wanting to be with them. I think she knows, because she gets an attitude and then tells me she wants to leave. She's older than I am and comes from a broken home. In the beginning, my parents hated her. That made me want her even more. Now she's like a habit.
I have no one to talk to about this. My parents have finally accepted her, and I feel trapped. Sometimes I think they just want me out of the house.
At this point, our plans are pretty much made. I don't know what to do. Sometimes I feel that she thinks my family is nice because hers is so messed up. She has very few friends.
I know this wedding is a mistake, but I don't have the guts to call it off. We were both lonely people, but now I am always miserable. If the wedding goes through, I know we're doomed. Please tell me what to do. -- NUMB IN NEW YORK
DEAR NUMB: It's going to take all the courage you can muster, but call off the wedding -- and the sooner the better so that some of the deposits for wedding expenses can be refunded.
While your fiancee's reaction won't be pleasant, trust me when I tell you that it would be worse -- and far more expensive -- if you back out of the union once you're married. And once children come along, you're tied to her for life.
You have a lot more maturing to do before you're ready for marriage. You need to become more confident in your choices, more in touch with your feelings, and independent of your family before making a lifetime commitment to anyone.