DEAR ABBY: I would like to share a recent experience with those of your readers who are anti-cell phone. I understand the anxiety concerning motorists who use cell phones.
I was recently on the freeway and found myself following a van that had a bumper sticker that read, "Shut up and drive!" with a picture of a cell phone. The van unexpectedly swerved to one side and braked as though the driver was alarmed. I wondered if something was wrong (I am a medical practitioner) and cautiously crept up alongside.
When I looked in, I saw a family with the husband driving. The wife was holding a container of ketchup for him to dip his fries into while he held a hamburger with the other hand. At one point, she even shifted gears for him!
Abby, I was appalled. I still can't get over the absurdity. How hypocritical for those people to have a bumper sticker criticizing drivers who use cell phones, while actually doing something more dangerous themselves. I waited for my chance to shake a finger at them, but they were too busy eating and passing food around to notice. -- COMMUTER IN VANCOUVER, WASH.
DEAR COMMUTER: According to the literature I have seen regarding the use of cell phones behind the wheel, the driver is as "impaired" as someone who has had three shots of alcohol. Not a happy thought. However, people driving on public roads using no hands and expecting a passenger to do the gear-shifting are beyond the pale -- a danger to themselves and others.
DEAR ABBY: I am in my mid-60s. My wife and I were married 38 years. She died a year ago.
I know it is customary for women to wear their wedding rings after their husband's death, but should men continue wearing their wedding bands?
Although I do not want to offend my children and in-laws by removing my ring, on the other hand, I do not want to appear foolish for continuing to wear it when I am no longer married.
What is proper under these circumstances? -- WONDERING WIDOWER IN WISCONSIN
DEAR WONDERING: When a widow or widower is ready to begin dating again, the wedding rings usually are removed or transferred to the right hand. Since it has been a year since your wife's death, if you wish to remove yours, no one will criticize you for it.
DEAR ABBY: I have been married for 31 years to a good man. His problem is hygiene. He works hard every day and does not shower before he comes to bed. I shower every night. His sexual partner is clean; mine is dirty.
He showers in the morning, and the rest of the world sees a clean, fragrant man -- but I don't.
Am I being unreasonable to ask my husband to shower in the evening? I guess most people shower in the morning. Please advise me. -- CLOTHESPIN CONNIE ON LONG ISLAND
DEAR CONNIE: With pleasure. Ask your husband to shower with you in the evenings. It might be all the encouragement he needs to clean up his act, not to mention adult fun for both of you.
Dear Abby is written by Pauline Phillips and daughter Jeanne Phillips.
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