DEAR ABBY: You replied to a funeral director: "The answer lies in being informed consumers, facing the fact of our mortality, and perhaps taking care of the details before the need arises. An important part of that process is being open with one's family about what one's wishes are, and what arrangements have been made."
Well, Abby, I am a realist and have faced the fact of my mortality. I have a will, a durable power of attorney for health-care decisions, and a general power of attorney in case I become mentally impaired.
I have designated my only child, a daughter, to carry out these decisions. When I try to talk to her about my affairs after my death, she says she just can't talk to me about such things. She is very squeamish about the whole subject. She is married to a lawyer, and they don't even have a will. Trying to tell my family my wishes hasn't seemed to work. Do you have another suggestion for me? -- FRESNO, CALIF.
DEAR FRESNO: Yes. Face it, you can't count on your daughter to carry out your wishes. Consider appointing your attorney as your executor, make sure your doctors are aware of your health-care decisions, and find someone else -- a close friend, perhaps -- to name in your power of attorney documents. Your daughter is too emotional to be up to the task you've assigned her.