DEAR ABBY: A fifth couple in our circle of friends recently ended their marriage. When I asked the husbands what happened, each said much the same thing: "When we were first married, I was the most important person in my wife's life. With each child, my place was shifted farther and farther back until I felt totally forgotten."
These husbands told me that "neglect" made them vulnerable to someone who did show them some attention. You know the rest.
When I asked the wives what happened, they said they didn't know -- but guessed that they "just drifted apart and their interests changed." None of them knew how their husbands felt.
I have also heard women say that their affair was the result of not feeling important at home. If only both spouses knew how important a little TLC is to his or her partner, there might be more lasting marriages. Abby, please warn your readers not to take their spouses for granted. Their partners should never feel they are at the bottom of the priority list. -- HAPPILY MARRIED HUSBAND
DEAR HAPPILY MARRIED: While doing your research, you picked up valuable information about the demise of many marriages: When children arrive, it's a given that life becomes busy and complicated. However, couples must make finding time for each other a priority. Both spouses need to remember that one day "the kids" will fly the nest, and for a marriage to survive, it must be infused with the necessary nutrients -- love, attention and respect, to name a few.