Abby shares her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "Abby's More Favorite Recipes." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 per booklet ($4.50 each in Canada) to: Dear Abby Booklets, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)
Display Our Flag Proudly and Properly on Flag Day
DEAR ABBY: Since Wednesday, June 14, is Flag Day, your readers might appreciate a reminder about how to correctly display "Old Glory." The U.S. Flag Code, adopted in 1923, prescribes the following rules for proper handling of the flag:
-- Always display the flag with the blue union field up; never display the flag upside down, except as a distress signal.
-- Always hold the flag carefully; never let it touch anything beneath it: the ground, the floor, water or merchandise.
-- Always carry the flag aloft and free; never carry it flat or horizontally.
-- Always keep the flag clean and safe; never let it become torn, soiled or damaged.
-- Always dispose of a flag properly; it should be destroyed by burning it in a dignified manner.
-- Always treat the flag with respect; never embroider it on household items or pieces of clothing.
Readers who would like a copy of our brochure, "Our Flag: How to Honor and Display It," need only request it and send 30 cents plus a long (business-size), stamped, self-addressed envelope to National Flag Foundation, Flag Plaza, Dept. A., Pittsburgh, PA 15219-3630. Or they can review it on our Web site: www.AmericanFlags.org. -- DAVID L. WHITE, EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR
DEAR DAVID: Thank you for sharing the rules for displaying the U.S. flag. Readers who may be unable to dispose of the flag in the prescribed manner should contact their nearest American Legion or VFW post. Most of them have an annual ceremony in which old and worn flags are properly destroyed.
Read on:
DEAR ABBY: June 14, 1907, was designated Flag Day by the Grand Lodge (National) of the BPOE Elks. In 1911, the Grand Lodge made this a mandatory observance for all Elks.
The Elks prompted President Woodrow Wilson to recognize our observance. However, it was not until 1949 that it was made a national day of observance -- by another Elk, President Harry S. Truman.
There will be a local Elks' flag ceremony in most communities in the U.S.A. We welcome the opportunity to assist parents, teachers and others in teaching the history of our flag and promoting love and respect for it. This assistance is available by calling the local Elks lodge. -- ROY E. ADAMS, CAHABA VALLEY LODGE 1738, PELHAM, ALA.
DEAR ROY: Thank you for advising me and my readers that the Elks offer this community service. Although most of us learn the Pledge of Allegiance to the flag in our schools, we don't always remember to honor the symbol of our country on Flag Day. I'm sure that the program you offer will inspire many patriotic citizens.
P.S. My father was an Elk, and he told me that "B.P.O.E." stands for "Best People On Earth!"
Cycling Safety Tips Will Keep Summer Safe for All
DEAR ABBY: Summer is upon us, and millions of fellow cyclists across the country will once again be out on the roads. I personally ride around 4,000 miles a year in training, and thought I'd offer a few tips.
Many drivers mistakenly believe that cyclists have no rights on public roads and feel compelled to "teach them a lesson," deliberately endangering their lives.
The fact is, a bicycle is classified as a vehicle on the public roads in all 50 states.
Tips for drivers:
1. Don't get too close. Cyclists want to be left alone. Cyclists are NOT required to ride on the shoulder, on the sidewalk or 2 inches from the edge of the road.
2. Don't pass a cyclist and then slow down, stop or turn in front of him. Sometimes we are going as fast as you are.
3. Don't honk. You're likely to startle an inexperienced cyclist or a child and cause him or her to fall.
Tips for cyclists:
1. Wear a helmet.
2. Make eye contact with drivers. Make sure they see you.
3. Ride on the right side of the road.
4. Obey traffic laws.
5. Signal turns. Point left or right.
6. Ride in a straight line and don't block traffic.
7. Carry a cell phone. You might need it to get help for yourself or a stranded motorist.
Thanks, Abby. The life you save by printing this may be my own -- or thousands of others! -- A FITNESS CYCLIST FOR 40 YEARS
DEAR FITNESS: If printing your letter saves just one life, it is well worth the space in this column. I hope all motorists and cyclists -- of all ages and levels of experience -- will take your advice.
DEAR ABBY: This is in response to the letter from Sharon Lewandowski, whose godson committed suicide. I absolutely support her message to encourage those in need to seek help. Yet I am moved to make another important point:
People nowadays are so busy that they don't always keep in touch with family and loved ones as they should. We should reach out and let people know we're thinking of them from time to time, regardless of whether they are in need or not.
All it takes is a card or phone call to say, "Hi! I'm thinking of you -- just wanted to know how you're doing." This contact from others can encourage those in need to reach out, and it can help us all feel more loved and less alone.
Please, remind your readers to take the time to keep in touch. It can make a huge difference in someone's life. -- BARBARA A. HART, POWDER SPRINGS, GA.
DEAR BARBARA: That valuable message is one we cannot be reminded of too often, especially since it's not always known to us that someone is experiencing what feels like insurmountable problems. Consistent, casual contact can provide comfort that may be desperately needed. And you're right, Barbara -- we all benefit from staying in touch!
For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
Weight Loss Marketing Hits Above and Below the Belt
DEAR ABBY: My mother, who lives in California, recently received a page torn from a newspaper with a handwritten note attached that said, "Jenny, try it. It works!" It was a full-page ad for a weight-loss product.
My husband's "Aunt Ethel," who lives in Ohio, got the same thing with her name handwritten on it. Neither of the notes had a signature.
Both my mother and Aunt Ethel thought it was an attack from an acquaintance or family member who didn't have the courage to sign a name. They were deeply hurt.
Luckily, when we heard that they both got the exact same ad, we figured out that it was a sleazy marketing scam.
Abby, please inform your readers about this advertising technique. I'm sure many other people have been hurt by it, and they should be made aware that the ads have not been sent by an insensitive "friend." It's terrible that a company would hurt someone to promote its product. This type of marketing should be exposed for what it is. -- CONCERNED IN CHESAPEAKE, VA.
DEAR CONCERNED: I'm familiar with that kind of advertising. One of my staff, who has a weight problem to contend with, has received the same ad on more than one occasion. However, because of a column I wrote on this same subject a few years ago, she recognized the marketing tactic for what it was and tossed it immediately. We suspect that some of the plus-sized clothing companies that market their clothing through catalogs sell their customer lists.
Readers, should you receive one of these ads, don't jump to the conclusion that someone is chastising you for your weight. And, if the product seems too good to be true, it probably is. Don't fall for false advertising.
DEAR ABBY: I have been seeing this girl for almost six months, and she means the world to me, but I get so upset when plans we make fall through.
The other night I suggested going to a movie, and later when I called to see if she wanted to go, she said she was just going to hang out at home and take it easy. I understand why and everything, but for some reason this extreme anger builds up inside me, and I end up being silent, and she knows I'm upset. The same thing happens if she gets called in to work -- she's a server, and if she gets offered a good shift (Friday or Saturday), then she's going to take it unless we have some major plans.
I totally understand why she needs to do this stuff (she's a part-time student as well), but it still doesn't prevent me from getting angry. I really care for this girl, and I don't want to do anything to hurt her in any way, but I can't seem to control these feelings. They subside after about half an hour, but by then I have already upset her.
Do you know of anything I can do to control my feelings -- maybe count to 100 before I say something? -- ANGRY IN OTTAWA
DEAR ANGRY: Actions are controllable; feelings less so. Learning to understand your feelings would be a step in the right direction, because your anger comes from hurt. Some sessions with a psychologist to probe into why you take normal changes of plans so personally might provide insight. Most people react with disappointment to such occurrences, not with extreme anger.
In the meantime, instead of counting to 100, remind yourself that people run away from those who pout, sulk and make others uncomfortable by applying the silent treatment.
Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)